January 18, 2022 (Pre-Gym)
I have never stepped foot in a gym. The thought of knowing absolutely nothing about fitness or working out and being around people who do is terrifying. Not to mention the gym is stereotypically referred to as a place reeking of judgment. I feel like my gym fears are the same as everyone else’s. I will walk in and know nothing. I will go to treadmill because that’s easy. Am I running fast enough? Is someone looking? Can people tell I am already out of breath? Am I sweating already? Eventually I will get off and try to find an empty corner or space or whatever they have at the gym. I’ll debate doing the workout I screenshotted off the internet. Will I look awkward? Can I even do these exercises? What if I do them wrong? Will people think it’s weird if I look up what to do? I’ll waste time fiddling with my phone and drinking the last of my water bottle. I might finish the workout. I might decide that I have accomplished enough for one day, which is fine. I would still be proud of me. Will I work up the courage to go is the ultimate question. The gym is terrifying.
February 1, 2022 (Day 1)
Today I went to the gym, exactly two weeks after I wrote the first entry. I couldn’t work up the courage to go alone so I asked my friend who enjoys the gym if I could tag along with her. In general, it wasn’t too bad. Was I nervous and awkward? Yes. Did I know what I was doing? Absolutely not. Would I go again? We’ll see.
I’ll give you the details. We skipped right over the beckoning treadmill and went straight to the squat rack. I have never thought about weightlifting in my life so of course I was intimidated. While we stretched the insecurities sprung up in my mind: “Am I doing this right,” “Is anyone looking at me,” “I can’t do this.” Then, she got up and showed me step by step how to do squats. I took mental notes of every little thing she said because I didn’t want anyone around me to know I was a newbie. Suddenly, it was my turn. I put my hands where she told me and my feet in the exact position and I started squatting the bar and adding weight. It wasn’t much weight, but it still definitely counts. I know I didn’t do it perfect or gracefully and that’s okay. Could people tell I am a newbie? Probably. At least now I know what to do and what not do. While I was actively doing the exercise the only thing going through my mind was “Am I doing this right.” I wasn’t thinking about if my leggings were see through or if someone was watching which was refreshing and a bit of a relief. As for everyone around me, they were just working out. I don’t think anyone was concerned about me but me.
February 16, 2020 (Day 10)
Since my first visit I have been to the gym a couple more times. My friend sent me a couple workouts to help me get started and I am a bit more comfortable. Here are a few things I have learned:
- No one is worried about you.
For the most part I have noticed that people ignore everyone around them at the gym. They stare straight ahead, fiddle with their phones in-between sets (I learned that word), blast music, and ultimately tune out the rest of the world. Although, I will say the paranoia that everyone is judging you never seems to totally disappear.
- People look at others for tips.
I’m not sure if this is totally accurate but I only look at other people in the gym to steal their exercises. I look for new exercises that I can attempt, or I look at people’s form/technique so that I can do it myself.
- It’s okay to give up on an exercise or decrease weight.
Trying new exercises is hard and overloading yourself is even worse. I cannot count the number of times in just ten trips that I have had to stop mid set because I physically could not complete it or to get a different weight. I forget that I am new, and I overestimate myself, which isn’t a bad thing.
- You can leave whenever.
Before I went to the gym, I had this preconceived notion that you had to be there for an hour or longer for it to be considered “working out.” This is very untrue. No one cares if you got there after them and leave before them or how long you exercise. Any workout for any amount of time is working out.
- Take a friend to start.
If I had not gone with my friend to start, I would probably still be working up the courage. Having someone who halfway knows what they are doing is comforting and makes the situation less stressful. If you don’t know anyone who goes the gym, grab any friend and figure it out together. Two minds are better than one and having someone there for support (physically or emotionally) is nice.
I am not an expert by any means, these are just things I have noticed and learned from my few trips. The gym is not the temple of judgment I thought it was and the vast majority of my gym fears were just that. No one is concerned with how out of breath you are, how sweaty you are, how much you can lift, or anything like that. The only one concerned about me was and is me.