Lately, I’ve been overwhelmed. Between adjusting to college life, learning to be independent, and keeping my relationships with family and friends, I’ve found myself questioning everything I thought I knew about myself. I thought I was a decent student at best, but more often than not, I feel like I don’t know anything since I’ve come here. I thought I was good at meeting people, and yet I still feel the ever-present block in my throat every time I try to let out the words “Hi, how are you?” I thought I would be doing better than I am, flourishing, and here I stand at what feels like the bottom of the ocean, drowning in papers, classes, and the thought that I’ve made a mistake by coming here. I wanted to get away from everyone I knew, but in doing so, I’ve just placed myself in the middle of the crowd, and now I feel like an outcast.
A couple of things have helped me since I’ve moved to Charleston, though. I frequent the Cougar Counseling team here on campus when some days feel too much for me to even get out of bed. The team and staff have all been amazing at listening to me rant through repressed tear-stained words about how much I miss home and how lonely I feel. Through both the CofC counseling staff and my counselor, I really pushed myself to join a couple of clubs too. I’m a part of this fantastic club/organization, which allows me to have an open space where I feel like I can make a difference with just my voice, and it’s incredible. Even on my worst days, I feel that I can remind myself that I have this space online, the physical meeting room, the other club members, and opportunities that may come into my life to look forward to.
Adjusting to college is hard, anyone can tell you that, but with patience and a little help, if you need it, it gets easier. I can attest to that.