As of right now, I do not want to have children.
It’s a pretty simple concept to grasp, yet every time I tell someone, their reaction is usually of complete and utter shock. Since I came to college, it became quite clear that it was just not in the cards for me. The life I want, is one that just doesn’t involve having children. Even when I explain my intentions to others, people continue to tell me, “you’ll change your mind someday.” I am here to tell you that day will probably never come (sorry mom) and if it does, that is for me and whoever I am with to decide.
Since the time I was old enough to babysit, children and I just didn’t mix. My thin patience was easy to break and children were just too much to constantly entertain. They annoyed me, and honestly most of the time they still do. Now I know what you’re thinking, I’m heartless. But the fact of the matter is, I just don’t enjoy the relentless responsibility that comes with having a child. I always said, I like babies and kids from afar, where I can interact with them on my own terms and then hand them back over when I’m done. Which is why I plan on being the absolute coolest Aunt ever. Who gets to do all the awesome fun stuff that parents talk about and then sends them home to mom and dad at the end of the day.
My take on children often gets me pegged as non-maternal or unfeminine, however this is far from the truth. I care so deeply for those around me. Anyone who is close to me can attest that I will do anything for those I love. My friends even see me as a “mom” because of my responsible and nurturing nature. I love to care for those I am close to, but that still doesn’t mean I should have children and not having them doesn’t make me any less of a woman.
The lifestyle I intend to live is just not one that fits having children. I often say that I am selfish with my own personal needs and if I were to have a child I wouldn’t be able to live the way I truly wanted. The field in which I am entering is one with long hours. I love my career and I hope to be absolutely in love with my work. I don’t want to spend the years that I am still young, caring for a child when I can be traveling the world and experiencing life to the fullest. I want to live life on my own terms. Doing what I want, when I want and having a child just doesn’t support that type of lifestyle.
The point of this article isn’t to justify why myself, or any other woman, would choose not to have children; but to say that it is honestly no one’s damn business. Women should be allowed the choice without being seen as less than those who do. Everyone has their own path in life, and they get to choose where it leads. For me that path just doesn’t include children.