“I hooked up with him one time, two summers ago, and you know how I feel about him, so if she hooks up with him, I can’t trust her.” Does this sound familiar?
Okay, so maybe it’s a little exaggerated, but have you ever developed a crush on a guy your friend dated a year ago, and you suddenly feel ashamed because that’s not how friends are supposed to treat other friends? Or has a guy ever shown interest in you, and then you find out he dated your friend’s friend, so he’s off limits?
So, what is this rule of thumb for girls that become interested in their friends’ past relationship record? For guys, it seems as if they’re fine with it unless they are actually dating someone. For instance, the same girl can be seen dating a guy one month and then his best friend the next month, and they don’t seem to care. When it comes to girls, however, there’s this secret viciousness and hate, whether it’s towards a best friend, a friend of a friend, or an acquaintance that has set eyes on their “once guy.” It seems as if once girls mark their “territory” on a guy, no one can look at them. Keep in mind that “territory” could mean: went on a date once, had a crush on, drunkenly hooked up with, dated two years ago, were “talking” for a couple weeks, and the list goes on.
This has happened in countless relationships between friends, and the friendships have been ruined because of a guy who doesn’t matter anymore. Maybe you have even done this and have said these words, “I can never trust you again” and “You were supposed to be my best friend”. Needless to say, friends stop talking after fights like this and their relationships are never the same.
Why do we do this? Is it pride? Jealousy? Maybe we can’t let go. Maybe we think that if a friend were to get involved with someone from our past, it will in return change our own past. Everyone clings to the past because they already know what happened; a security blanket, and no one wants to give that up.
We need to move forward as a generation; we need to stop counting on the past for our future. We need to let go, or the past will become our obsession and consume our lives. You’ll have to worry about everyone else all the time, instead of worrying about yourself. We need to remember that there are bigger battles to be won. And at the end of the day, situations like this shine light on who true friends are.