Hey, hi, hello, welcome back! It’s BTS season, ladies (no, not that Korean? boyband) back to school!
While the return to campus brings a lot of good, there’s one thing I absolutely cannot stand about it… Command Strips.
You know the ones. Those stupid hooks you have to hang in all on-campus housing ‘cus they don’t want you nailing shit into their paper thin walls in fear that they might crumble, but they never actually stay on the walls and everything falls off and then all your shit breaks. Selfish skanks. (A run-on sentence for a run-on mood).
Last week I moved into my apartment and have been in an intense battle with these stupid things since.
I’ll just be goin’ about my life, hanging up cute pics of my dog, a canvas covered in wine memes, you know, the usual, and then all the sudden, something else will come crashing down! Like just the other night at probably 2am, one of my canvases right by my bed fell off the wall, knocked over my lamp, and proceed to scare the living shit out of me.
I WAS NOT A FAN.
This kind of thing happens all the time with Command Strips, though. I’ll have all my decorations hung up and then two minutes later, like three things come off the wall. And half the time, a little strip of paint comes off with it! (Tbh I don’t know if that’s Butler’s cheap ass paint or all paints? lmk). This means that I have to pay for room damages in addition to the fucking arm and leg I already pay to be here.
AGAIN, NOT A FAN.
So the beef… Command Strips say that they stick to all surfaces and hold tight, permitting you don’t exceed the weight limit. LIES.
I’ve used the big boi strips for a feather light canvas and the thing still falls off. Holds on strong my ass!
I’ve spent so much money this past week just replacing the sticky guys for the hooks because of how many have fallen off. And we all know how broke I am. Y’all literally have one job! Just stay on the wall and hold my shit. That’s it. That’s literally it. Okay, well I guess that’s two things, but homie, learn to multitask!
Figure your shit out Command Hooks!
Sincerely,
~So not stuck on you