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I Told Myself I Wouldn’t Be An Obnoxious Big But Here I Am

I’ve spent basically my whole life as an older sister. My little sister is my best friend and we’ve shaped each other as people.

 

Because I’m so damn good at being her older sister, I’ve sort of become an older sister to my friends as well. I frequently give unsolicited advice to people who don’t ask. I have a list on my phone of “Boys to Delete” who have wronged my friends. I constantly give hugs and tell my friends to take care of themselves.

 

(This is me offering my squishy pillow tiddy to stressed/sad/exhausted friends)

 

When I was a senior in high school, I adopted a clump of freshman girls who called me “Mama Wilbur.” The maternal instinct was real.

My best friend, on the far right, was their dad. Don’t overthink it.

 

So of course, when I joined a sorority, I couldn’t’t wait to get a little. Everyone in my house is my sister, but when you take a little, they become your person. You want to protect them, to guide them, to inspire them to be the best they can be.

 

 

My own big and I are good friends, but we’re also normal friends. Sometimes we chill out and study together, sometimes we get Chick Fil A. I would say we’ve managed to avoid the stereotypical big/little srat fodder I see on Twitter.

 

 

 

So I thought it would be the same thing when I took a little. But I underestimated how extra I could be.

 

I met Sarah before she joined my sorority. We already shared friends and had a couple of memories and inside jokes under our belts. It was kind of inevitable that we would end up together. It helped that I knew that she would appreciate these sweet-ass shirts.

 

 

Aside from writing this whole entire article, here are some obnoxious things that I have definitely done since becoming Sarah’s big.

 

  • Heard someone else say her name in another room and interjected “ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT MY PERFECT LITTLE?”

  • Loudly cheered during mere mention of her name at chapter meetings

  • Regularly stalked her Twitter to harbor some dank memes to inspire crafts to make for her

  • Made a canvas with her own quote from the group Facebook page

  • Got her one of those fill-in-the blank books that say “I love being your mom” but crossed out the word “mom” and wrote “big” over and over again

  • Introduced her to my boyfriend by saying “Meet your new dad!”

  • Claimed all of her friends as my step-children

 

And it’s not over yet.

 

Here’s to years and years of being obnoxiously and intensely dedicated to friendship.

Kait Wilbur is an aggressively optimistic individual obsessed with sitcoms, indie music, and pop culture in general. She hails from Manito, a rural wasteland in Illinois so small and devoid of life that she took up writing to amuse herself. Kait goes to Butler University to prepare for a career in advertising, but all she really wants to do is talk about TV for a living. You can find her at any given moment with her earbuds in pretending to do homework but actually looking at surrealist memes.
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