I’ll admit that I am unfortunately a bit of an expert when it comes to the proverbial rose tinted glasses.
So what does it mean to look through rose tinted glasses? According to the Cambridge Dictionary, it is “to see only the pleasant things about a situation and not notice the things that are unpleasant.”
On the surface it may sound like a person who looks through rose tinted glasses is incredibly naive. However, I think that it has more to do with how you view the world.
I would say that I am someone who tends to try to give people the benefit of the doubt, and honestly I am happy to do so. I think that it’s often important to give people or situations a second shot before we pass judgement.
However, you can only give a person or a situation so many additional chances before it is at a cost to you and your well-being.
The trouble with looking through rose tinted glasses is that I often miss the immediate telltale signs that should tell me that a situation is going to hurt. Or, maybe it’s possible that I do recognize the warning signs but choose to ignore them. Honestly, it is sometimes impossible to discern a difference between the two in the moment, and only after the fact. After all, hindsight is 20/20.
Although the saying of “looking through rose tinted glasses” can be applied to so many situations, I wanted to talk about it in connection to relationships — not just romantic, but also with family and friendships.
What does “looking through rose tinted glasses” look like in a relationship?
In a romantic one, it can involve a lot of things, but some examples include remembering only the positive parts of the relationship, confusing feelings of nostalgia with longing for a person, or undermining fights, incompatibility, or toxic or abusive behavior we may have experienced in a relationship.
In a friendship or in family, this could look similar, like focusing only on the good times and expecting that things will return to the way that they were, regardless of how you have been treated.
Not all instances of “looking through rose tinted glasses” can be bad. I’ll admit that in previous relationships it could sometimes be a positive thing, that caused me to appreciate my partner and our shared experiences more.
However, when it gets to a point that you ignore incompatibility or someone’s poor treatment of you, then it is at a detriment to you and your well-being.
There was a French song that I liked when I was younger called “La Vie en Rose” by Edith Piaf. In the English translation of the song, the lyrics are “Hold me close and hold me fast, The magic spell you cast, this is ‘La vie en rose.’”
The song talks about feeling like something comes over you that makes you see things completely different when you are in love.
In some ways I think that is true for many people, but I know that I want to take the rose tinted glasses off.
I want to see people and situations for who and what they are — both so I can have the opportunity to appreciate them more but also so that I can show respect for myself, my boundaries, and my worthiness of love and reciprocity.