Ghosting: Yay or Nay?

Most of us have been involved in a case of ghosting these days, whether or not we were victims, or guilty of the crime.

With texting, dm’s, and dating apps at their peak, it makes it easier and more efficient for us to talk to people we’re into. On the other hand, this perk also makes it easier and more efficient for us to stop talking to them too. But does the fact that randomly disappearing on someone make it okay because it is done through technology rather than “real life?”

Personally, my answer is—no. Just because you’re not ignoring this person to their face doesn’t make leaving them on “Read” okay either. No matter if you communicate face-to-face, or through the work of your thumbs, we are all still humans with feelings. In a world where we constantly want to be accepted, listened to, felt, and admired, being ignored is never a great feeling. Especially when it’s done by F*ckboy Frank... no one likes a F*ckboy Frank.

With that being said, there are some circumstances where it feels like ghosting someone is in fact the right thing to do. Sometimes we just do it to avoid confrontation— we think that leaving them wondering whether or not we are dead is better than telling them that we just aren’t feeling it anymore. But when they see us risen from the dead on our Snapchat story a week later, what does that make us? F*ckgirl Fiona. Not just plain F*ckgirl Fiona, but zombie F*ckgirl Fiona. Even worse.

Although it seems harmless to us and saves our own selves from having to formulate some lame excuse as to why we don’t want to speak to someone anymore, ghosting can really hurt our social skills outside of relationships. If done frequently, it can easily form into the habit of avoiding things we are too immature to deal with. We can ghost our own jobs, meetings, and other important things that we’re too dependable on our own laziness for, rather than sparing the utter confusion of others.

Honesty is always the best policy. Even though it’ll hurt at first, I’m sure they will definitely appreciate and respect you as a person for being honest and up front with them. It’s a better feeling to know that they still exist rather than feeling like no one at all. Obviously, If someone is making you uncomfortable, it’s more than okay not to give them the time of day. But we are a smart species. We know if ignoring someone is hurtful or if it’s done for our own safety.

We have to put ourselves in the other person’s shoes: if we don’t want F*ckboy Frank to screw us over, then we shouldn’t do it either.

 

-Bethany Cercone