Is saying no being selfish or saving yourself? I have never known how to say no. I’ve always had a rush of guilt followed by an anxiety attack every time I needed to say no and couldn’t. I believe it comes from growing up as a caretaker. Spending your life taking care of someone else creates this horrible feeling of being scared to fail or scared of not being good enough. Usually, it is both. Being scared to not do everything you can for other people in your life because some people can’t do anything at all. Growing up in the mindset of having to do everything yourself because you wouldn’t dare to ask for help. Growing up not knowing when the right time was to say no because you had 3 papers and an exam due that week with track practice every day, followed by work and then oboe lessons every other. The creation of this hyper independence starts the downward spiral into eventually, extreme exhaustion. But then, when you have never said no to yourself and others, how do you begin? How do you know when to not feel guilt for putting yourself first for once because you’ve never been able to do so before? As I am still trying to figure this out myself, more to come next week.
This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Buffalo chapter.