As women, many of us are brought up to aspire to marriage and are asked constantly if we have a significant other in our lives. This question becomes draining as it is repeated over and over again at family get-togethers. During Christmas in 2019, various family members asked me if I had a boyfriend, and when I replied I had never had a boyfriend and still don’t, they were shocked, wondering how on Earth I made it this far without a boy in my life. I found it incredibly insulting that all these people were telling me that I should be dating someone, even going so far as to tell me I should go to more frat parties (because obviously that’s where I want to meet my future husband!). I asked myself why they thought I needed a boyfriend and why they were almost upset at the fact that I had never dated someone in my 18 years of life. Popular culture, such as TV, movies, and books, nowadays put such an emphasis on relationships, especially with all the wedding shows, that it is no surprise people are shocked when an 18 year old girl has been single her whole life.
Over the years, especially in more recent ones, I have found that there are many and incredible benefits to being single. To name a few, you:
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Have more time to yourself
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Save money
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Have the ability to talk to and meet other people
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Have more time to do what you want to do without another’s opinion
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Are closer to your friends
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Are usually more productive
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Can travel without worrying about someone else
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Don’t have anything tying you down
These are just some of the benefits I have seen become apparent, as some of my closest friends have recently gotten boyfriends and I, for once, am the one least concerned in regard to boys. The saying is a cliche, but life is truly better when you love yourself above others. On May 31, 2018, Halsey tweeted “Create a good environment to house your blessings. The universe isn’t gonna throw your gifts and desires into a hot mess. Create a space suitable for them to prosper and watch how fast they arrive.” This is more attainable than simply saying “you can’t love anyone else before you love yourself.” It is not saying you have to be perfect, but that the more at peace you are with yourself and the imperfections you come with and are working on your internal being, the more often better things and people will come your way. This goes along with relationships because if two people come together and are both messes, nothing beneficial will come out of the relationship, but if two people who have found comfort in themselves come together, something beautiful will happen. It is imperative that this internal work be done alone; no one can come along and “fix” you.
Finding happiness within yourself is one of the most important things you can do, and being single can assist in you knowing yourself and appreciating all you are so you aren’t looking for happiness in others. I believe that being single can be one of the most transformative times in your life if you seize the opportunities it gives you and allow the time alone to work its magic.