Unless you’ve been living under a rock this past year, there’s no way you haven’t spent at least some time on TikTok. Due to the platform’s popularity, there is no surprise that there are fast-moving cycles of trends. However, these trends are not always the most productive and they sometimes turn toxic. That’s exactly what happened to the #pickmegirl trend.
If you don’t know, a “pick me girl” is essentially the living embodiment of “I’m not like other girls,” but taken to the extreme. These are not girls who simply don’t conform to gender norms or stereotypes but are women girls who seek male validation by directly or indirectly implying that they are “not like other girls.” By doing so, they might call out their friends’ insecurities in front of boys, laugh at sexist jokes, or say that they only hang out with boys because girls can be too dramatic. While this is problematic to begin with, it has evolved into an even more extreme trend that makes fun of girls who do anything that may result in male attention. Girls are being attacked and demeaned by other girls for the most basic aspects of themselves and their personalities.
The TikTok trend itself uses a line “I got these girls and they fightin’ all up and like / And they screamin’ out like, ‘pick me,’ like ‘pick me’ / ‘pick me” from Lil Uzi Vert’s song “Heavy Metal.” With that verse as the background sound, TikTok users caption their videos with stereotypical things that “pick me girls” do. I’m not gonna lie, these videos can be pretty entertaining, especially considering that you’ve most likely met someone who acts like in high school or college. However, the trend began to turn into other girls degrading and tearing others down where anyone could be labeled a “pick me girl” for anything. Some examples included “girls with last names that have two a’s in her name,” “being short,” and “playing sports like cheerleading and volleyball.”
This trend highlights the fact that internalized misogyny is heavily present on social media and in this case, on TikTok. Girls have been told that “girls support girls” but this is clearly not internalized fully. In the future, when on TikTok or any social media platform for that matter, recognize that not all trends are productive and take the time to think about the messages these trends are saying. Not all women share the same interests or personalities but that doesn’t mean they should be called out because of that.