My mom always told me, “You have to kiss a bunch of toads before you find your prince.” Not exactly the most pleasant image, but it’s been enough to get me by. At this wild, crazy, emotional place we call college, us girls have the oh-so-fun task of mining for the diamond when it sometimes feels like we’re only surrounded by the rough. That’s why I set out to truly understand what it is a Bucknell girl wants from a Bucknell guy. I talked with a number of girls on campus and gathered their thoughts about the qualities they desire in a male. Whether it’s what she craves while hooking up or the characteristics she seeks in a potential boyfriend, I feel it is entirely necessary to share these golden nuggets of wisdom with you, Bucknell-boy reader. Maybe I’m not often as charitable as I should be, but in a Cupid-like way, I feel like I’m really doing some good here. Listen up, guys, or forever hold your peace.
WHAT SHE’S LOOKING FOR IN A HOOK-UP…
- “They mainly have to be really fun. They can’t take themselves, or me, too seriously. A good sense of humor is definitely necessary, and athletic ability doesn’t hurt either.”
- “He is able to have fun hanging out and doing nothing, but also down to find adventure and try new things.”
- “My ideal guy definitely has to be lovable! By lovable I mean he has to have a good personality [and] a sense of humor.”
- “I highly value having fun and being truthful, so I would want my boyfriend/hookup/etc. to do the same.”
In short, just make us laugh, dude. Hooking up isn’t “The Notebook” or “Dirty Dancing.” Hooking up is awkward. Hooking up is feeling self-conscious. Hooking up is not knowing all the time. Hooking up is vulnerability. As a guy, take charge and lighten the mood by laughing, joking, bumbling, and having fun with it.
WHAT SHE’S LOOKING FOR IN A BOYFRIEND…
- “I think Dr. Seuss sums it up perfectly: ‘We’re all a little weird, and life’s a little weird. And when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love.’”
- “Two of the most important qualities in someone I would want to date are confidence, and high energy. They have to be really social and outgoing. I want to be able to have fun with them, and they can’t be too dependent on me…I hate that.”
- “My ideal guy has a good sense of humor, is comfortable with himself, honest, relaxed but also passionate, and is aware of the world around him and can put things in perspective.”
- “The qualities that make up my ideal man are a good sense of humor, being able to laugh at himself, and being honest in all aspects of his life including our relationship.”
- “My biggest quality is he has to be affectionate. Being affectionate is the deal breaker because you want someone who cares about you as much as you care about them.”
Many of these are self-explanatory, but basically, we just want you to care. Show a deep interest in us, and we’ll show one in you. And as a guy, if you don’t have self-confidence, we sure as hell won’t be confident in you.
WHAT SHE’S NOT LOOKING FOR WHATSOEVER…
Yeah, I didn’t even need to ask girls about this one. There are universal “don’ts” that can’t be ignored. Want the list? Here it goes:
- Don’t lie.
- Don’t stink (literally and figuratively).
- Don’t make it all about you.
- Don’t make us look foolish.
- Don’t fool around with our hearts; they’re fragile.
- Don’t disregard chivalry; it’s not dead yet.
- Don’t be selfish.
- “Don’t interrupt. Rude!” (Thanks, Bon Qui Qui)
- Don’t forget holidays, anniversaries, birthdays, half-birthdays…just give us the damn gifts.
- Don’t be anyone other than yourself; we can see right through you.
- Don’t dress because it’s “comfortable”; dress to impress.
- Don’t brush off an argument. Fight it out ‘till you win us back.
- Don’t think that wearing your heart on your sleeve is a bad thing.
Well, there you go, Bucknell-boy reader. The Chamber of Secrets has been opened for you. Do with this sacred information what you wish…but I mean, we’re not talking recycling it or making a PB&J sandwich with it. Use it to show us that you want us; we’ll give it to ya in return, all “qualities” aside.