As I write this article on the eve of my 22nd birthday, I am reflecting on my life and what it has entailed thus far. I like to think that I generally have seen and done a lot of things, but there are many things I haven’t seen or done that I would like to. Travel, as is most young people’s goal, is also mine. Going to all 50 states is a bucket list item of mine, as well as all 7 continents. While these are fun things to look forward to, getting older can also cause much anxiety about the future, especially in your early 20s when you are trying to figure everything out. I distinctly remember on my 20th birthday, as soon as the clock struck 12:00am on March 4th, I felt older. That may sound dramatic, but you know when everyone always jokingly asks if you feel older on your birthday, well, this one I did. I was listening to “Teenage Dream” by Katy Perry for the last time as a teenager and trying to soak it all in before I turned 20. Personally, I feel as though people don’t talk about the oddness of being in your 20s enough. They are so romanticized that when you don’t feel like you’re living up to those expectations, you think you’re doing something wrong. I believe that talking about how difficult your 20s can be is incredibly important to normalize feeling lost and old and young at the same time.
In discussing getting older in general, I asked my mom and sister a few questions so they could impart their wisdom. My mom is in her 50s, and my sister is 25. While I know my sister is not that much older than me, she is in a relatively different phase of life and has warned me of some of the difficulties getting older brings. The three questions I asked them are:
1) What does aging mean to you?
2) What feels different to you now than when you were 22?
3) What advice do you have for people in their late teens/early 20s?
My mom responded saying…
1) We’re the older people in the family now. There’s no older people than us now. The need to reinvent yourself.
2) The amount of responsibility for everyone and everything.
3) Advice for late teens early twenties is LISTEN TO YOUR MOTHER!!
While my mom’s last response was humorous, I do think she gave generally good advice, because most of the time, mothers really do know best. I think her perspective is interesting because she has lived more life and has been through so many experiences I have yet to. My sister responded saying
1) I think aging means not going on having fun and refusing to learn new things.
2) Not much cause of the pandemic- I still feel like I’m 22.
3) Oof hold on tight cause you’re going to feel like you’re failing all time.
My sister and I have talked about this often, as we are close in age and especially now that our life experiences are more similar, and I like to think that this is the honesty people need to hear. Your 20s aren’t always glamorous, but you will also have some of the best times of your life within them.
Birthdays are a wonderful celebration of life that can bring many mixed emotions. I believe that each year you are growing and evolving into, hopefully, a better version of yourself. Learning about yourself is one of the most important things about getting older and being more accepting of everything you bring to the table. By taking each year as an opportunity to become better friends with yourself, you will appreciate the age and wisdom, no matter how cheesy it sounds. Even looking back to my freshman year of college, turning 19 feels so far away and I have changed so much as a person and grown into myself much more. If you are someone who looks forward to birthdays, don’t lose that excitement about getting older. If you have been feeling more anxious about getting older, find comfort in the fact that everything will in fact, work out as it should. I send my love to anyone on their birthday who doesn’t always feel excited or loved. <33