Some people enjoy the single life. Others prefer relationships. But what about friends with benefits? Do friends with benefits actually work? Truthfully, sometimes it does and sometimes it doesn’t. Therefore, it is important to take some things into consideration before jumping into this type of relationship.
Try not to have a crush on your friend.
If you want to have a friends-with-benefits relationship with a guy friend of yours, you have to be sure that you don’t like him as more than a friend (at least when you start out). This is tricky because you have to like the guy enough to want to hook up with him, but you have to not like him enough so you don’t get too attached.
Don’t have high expectations.
Most of us have seen Friends With Benefits with Mila Kunis and Justin Timberlake or No Strings Attached with Ashton Kutcher and Natalie Portman. While those movies start off as friends with benefits relationships and then blossom into full-blown relationships, this is not always reality. It is possible to fall in love with the guy you have a friends-with-benefits relationship. However, it is also a possibility that one of you develops stronger feelings for the other and the feeling is not reciprocated.
Communicate and set rules.
You have to be on the same page and be honest. If you do find yourself having more feelings for your friend, you need to tell him. Either he feels the same way or he doesn’t. If he does, then maybe you can try a real relationship. But if he doesn’t, then you should quit the friends with benefits relationship immediately, put some space between yourselves and work on being just friends again.
Choose someone you are comfortable with.
Friends with benefits can be awkward sometimes. Lets face it, it is your friend, and so what he does in the bedroom may not have been what you expected. The most important thing is to be comfortable, and it is okay to laugh about it (just don’t hurt his feelings!). Use your friends with benefits relationship as a learning experience. If you are truly comfortable with this person, then you can benefit in more ways than one. You might even learn something new.
Try to avoid acting crazy jealous.
He may go out or make-out with another girl on the dance floor and you may find yourself feeling jealous. If you find yourself getting really jealous, remember this is only casual. You also might consider doing the same thing he is doing. But if you find yourself getting so jealous that it makes you crazy, then you should reevaluate the relationship. You may be developing more serious feelings for him, which means you need to tell him or end things.
It doesn’t have to be just sex or sex at all.
A friend-with-benefits relationship does not necessarily mean you have to have sexual intercourse. This might sound crazy, but it’s true. You could simply make out. You could engage in oral sex. You could only have sex. A study showed that while over 50% of college students in friends with benefits relationships engaged in all forms of sex, 22.7% said they had intercourse only, and 8% said they did everything but have intercourse. This type of relationship should be whatever you want it to be. Share what you are looking for. Be honest about what you are okay and not okay with.
Should this be kept secret?
This is something you both have to decide on. You don’t have to necessarily tell all of your friends, especially if you have mutual friends. As much as we love our friends, they will have opinions on the situation. Some may be supportive, but others may have reservations. It is good to value your friends’ opinions, but this is about you and your needs and wants. Ultimately, this is an agreement between you and your guy friend. As long as you bother know where you stand, that’s what matters.
Hanging out outside the bedroom.
Keep what happens in the bedroom separate from what happens outside. It may be difficult, but try not to talk about all the details of what happens in the bedroom of your friends with benefits relationships. This is especially important if the person you are telling knows both of you. You want to minimize attention and awkwardness. This is supposed to be casual.
Will this ruin our friendship?
This is the big question. The truth: it is possible. But if you have taken each of these things into consideration and can think of a guy that you’d want to try this with, then it may be something you want to give a try. However, if you are not the jealous type or don’t think you have a crush on your guy friend, but find yourself Facebook stalking him 24/7, then this type of relationship may not be for you.
Majority of college-aged guys and girls have at least thought about what it would be like to have a friends with benefits relationship. In fact, 2/3 of college students have been in friends with benefits relationships. Plus, if it doesn’t work out then time can help heal any potential awkwardness. So what’s the deal with friends with benefits? Stay on the same page, relax and just have fun with it!
http://www.livescience.com/5391-survey-finds-friends-benefits-common.html