Studying Abroad: Relationship Edition

Studying abroad is a great adventure.  For months, we anxiously await our departure from the States to go study and explore some faraway place.  In our excitement to study abroad, we often think more about the new experiences we will have and the new people we will meet than those we will be leaving behind.  We somehow forget that leaving behind family and friends is tough, especially because communicating from a foreign country is not that easy.  But while we know that our family and loyal friends will be waiting for us when we get back, what happens to the romantic relationships we are leaving behind at home?  Whether you are in a committed relationship or are just starting to catch feelings for a hook up, traveling abroad poses a huge dilemma for love lives.  In the pursuit of maximum adventure during our time abroad, we have to ask ourselves: is it worth it to stay in contact with our romantic partners…or should we cut ties? 

Depending on the nature of your relationship, there are pros and cons to staying with your romantic partner while abroad.  On one hand, it might be difficult to fully immerse yourself into a new culture and open yourself up to all of the new experiences your destination has to offer while your mind and heart are still at home.  Studying abroad is a time when you are allowed to not only discover a new place, but also consequently discover new things about yourself.  If your goal is to focus on your own personal growth during your time abroad, you have to ask yourself if you can do so while still keeping in contact with your partner.  One senior who spent time abroad explains, “You have time to focus on yourself and your new experiences while living in an entirely new country. When I left Bucknell the winter of my junior year, I made sure to end things with hookups on a good note with the goal that I would only focus on myself while studying in Europe.”

On the other hand, it is not entirely impossible to make the most of your time abroad while still maintaining your relationship at home.  Another senior remembers, “I had friends on my program that were in long-distance relationships that worked while they were abroad. One of my friends set weekly times with her boyfriend when they could talk at a time that was convenient for both of them, and she sent him postcards from every city she traveled to. Another one of my friend’s boyfriend visited her during his spring break.” 

If you do decide to keep your relationship going while you are overseas, make sure that you and your partner are on the same page.  Another senior advises, “Before entering into any long-distance relationship, it’s important to have the mutual knowledge that you and your significant other will keep an open and honest dialogue when you’re not together.”

When you are deciding whether or not to cut ties with your partner, you have to decide what you want out of your abroad experience, and whether or not that person factors into the equation.  If you believe that your partner is going to hold you back in any way from having the abroad experience that you want, it might be best to let them go. However, if that person is going to support you in all of your abroad adventures, and you believe the hard work of long distance is worth it, don’t be afraid to keep the relationship going. 

The bottom line when dealing with the abroad relationship dilemma is to know what you want for yourself.  Your abroad experience is something deeply personal and unique, and you should not have to compromise what you want for anyone.  But whether you choose to stay with your partner or go out into the unknown by yourself, it’s all part of the adventure.