Most of us have been there at some point. You’ve been hooking up with someone consistently for the past few weekends, and your fling is on the cusp of classifying as a booty call.
There is good in a classic booty call. When someone invites you over for casual hook up, the night can be a temporary remedy for stress, anxiety, loneliness and boredom. Booty calls are great once in a while, but there is certainly a negative connotation with the word for a reason.
Booty calls are casual and relaxing, but only if both people are on board. If there’s a discrepancy, someone will get hurt. According to relationship expert Evan Marc Katz, if there isn’t a clear statement about where the relationship stands, somebody will get hurt, and it’s most often the woman.
Females are more likely to get hurt than men are from a booty call due to biological reasons. Oxytocin bonding and the release of hormones are responsible for emotional attachment. Additionally, sociological reasons often affect women involved in a booty ball due to the cultural belief that men may feel proud and accomplished while women often feel devalued or used. In the end, it is up to you to decide whether to continue booty call behavior. You need to determine for yourself what makes you truly happy and satisfied.
Booty calls can be fun and sensual, but you should consider the enabling concept. By agreeing to hook up with your booty caller, you create an atmosphere in which the other person is free to continue their sexual behavior until you take the responsibility to end it. If you agree to be a “No Strings Attached” partner, you shouldn’t be surprised if the other person tries to booty call you again.
If someone or something doesn’t make you a better person, it’s often best to avoid it. Sometimes the best booty call is your bed, and that’s perfectly fine.
TIPS
- If you’re going to commit to a booty call, schedule it so that it is in the other person’s room. That way, you can leave whenever you would like, and avoid the awkward excuse making in the morning (i.e. “Yeah so I’m off to the library…at 8am…bye!”).
- If you want to be more than just a booty call, make sure you have a conversation about how both of you feel about your relationship. This conversation shouldn’t be at a party, and it definitely shouldn’t be in the midst of a booty call—the other person would be more likely to say what you’d like to hear in the moment, rather than how they really feel about it.