Recently, I have come to terms with my outright solidarity, adopting a new outlook on my relationship status. I have come to embrace the phrase “single and ready to mingle” and, more than anything else, I no longer violently throw my popcorn at whatever happily-ever-after ending fills the screen of the average romantic comedy—and that, my friends, is a large step. That type of Hollywood romance has once again inspired me to think positively towards the future, acceptingly of the now, and about the plenty of fish that are in the sea—meanwhile, obviously and unfortunately, assuming far too many clichés. However, if you’re anything like me, returning home for the holidays rocked my rehabilitated outlook.
I am unable to pinpoint exactly where the returning relationship—or lack there of—pain is emanating from, but it’s somewhere between the nostalgia for my fleeting high school romances (more like hook ups) and the ho-hum of holiday fever. It’s as if every corner I turn to either reminds me of that time sophomore year with what’s-his-name or is laden with couples swooning over each other, even without the iconic mistletoe. After spending just one-week home, my newly developed and somewhat stable mindset of single acceptance has been destroyed and I feel my relationship status in neon lights as I’m sandwiched between couple one and two at a family gathering or running downtown to buy a gift for, well, my dog.
At first, I let all of the hand-holding, public displays of affection, and holiday hugging nonsense bother me, until I realized I was allowing something as insignificant as my relationship status on Facebook—a special thanks to Mark Zuckerberg making all of this that more difficult—to squelch my holiday cheer. So, to bring all of those out there like me back on the “single, happy, and I know it” train, I’ve put together a little list of advice on how to make it not only single, but also proudly through the holidays, despite your desperate urges to destroy every godforsaken mistletoe.
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You arrive at what feels like family gathering number seventy two of the holidays to Grandma Nancy incessantly inquiring about your love life: why you didn’t bring anyone home like cousin Rachel, why you’re single, and why, oh why, won’t you provide her—sooner rather than later—with great grandchildren. My advice? Drink. Red wine does a boatload with drowning sorrows. Just kidding. My real advice? Kill them with kindness. There is absolutely no need for Grandma Nancy or any of her annoying minion sisters to bother you about your relationship status. Smile and tell them you’re still on the search for Mr. Right. There’s nothing they’ll love more than to hear that you have a set of expectations for a guy and you’re not your average college you know who.
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Who doesn’t love holiday movies? They’re warm-hearted, cheerful, and filled with plenty of romance. Avoid them. The last thing you need is a mass-produced, feel-good romance to fill your mind with illusions of grandeur. But you feel it won’t be the holidays without ABC Family’s 25 Days of Christmas? I understand. But it also won’t be the holidays if by the time Christmas rolls around your on your 25th pint of Ben and Jerry’s Fish Food because Collin Firth and Hugh Grant took your heart away in Love Actually for the seventeenth time. If you must indulge in some seasonal classics, do so, but remind yourself that those movies are not real life.
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My final suggestion is to embrace the holiday spirit. No one ever stood up and declared their love for the Grinch over Santa. So, trying your hardest to steer clear of any holiday hating. It’s easy to get in a rut, especially when it feels like love is in the air, and well, you’re breathing the wrong air because you’re still single, but smile. The holidays weren’t put into place for you to stand on a soapbox proclaiming your inability to find someone special; they were put here to celebrate. So do so, in spirit and in style, no matter your relationship status.
By no means am I a holiday love guru, but I wish you, the single and the jaded, good luck and a happiest of holidays.
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