Her Campus Logo Her Campus Logo
placeholder article
placeholder article

Reading the Signs: Are We Friends or What?

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Bucknell chapter.

What is it about signs? We’re constantly looking for them, reading them and interpreting them.  A sign of what we should do, a sign of whom we should be with.  It’s an easy way to make a complicated decision, especially when it pertains to a romantic interest. Putting your faith in a sign takes away your own conviction and therefore reduces the prospect of your own failure.  But what if we read the signs wrong?  Or what if there is no such thing as signs at all? 

If one thinks about the faith we put in “reading the signs” the question arises, why can’t we just ask for what it is that we’re looking for?  When it comes to romance, collegiettes are the masters of “blurred lines,” and not in the way Robin Thicke sings about.  Relationships are complicated and they always have been.  It’s hard to tell the difference between friendships, friends with benefits or a budding romance.  And getting a straight answer is practically impossible when everyone is afraid of showing his or her cards.  When no one tells anyone else what he or she wants, looking for a sign from the object of attraction seems like the only option. 

So, if you’re looking for some signs that your friend may be more than friend, or if you’re trying to decide if you should make a move, I have compiled a list from sources tailored towards women like you and me.

  1. They make time to hang with you.
  2. They find excuses to touch you.
  3. They tease you.
  4. They talk to other people about you.
  5. They remember details about you.
  6. They try to impress you.

… The list goes on and on.

These signs, and any other that we look for, may mean something.  Or they may mean nothing at all.  The problem with playing emotional detective is that signs can only tell us what we are already looking for, and then they leave us walking on eggshells and being emotionally affected by what our interpretations tell us should happen.  The problem with signs is that humans aren’t the Da Vinci Code, and searching for ways to solve them will only leave us spinning in circles, constantly guessing.

Rather than looking for a smoke signal to go up, make a decision. What do you want?  Do you want to be friends?  Do you want to be more?  Do you want to see where it goes?  Make a decision that ignores the rules and that ignores the signals.  Your decision has nothing to do with them.  It has to do with you, and that is ultimately where your power lies.  The fact is, we can’t predict the future, and we can’t read their mind.

We can look for signs all we want.  But ultimately, we see what we want to see, when we want to see it.