Ode to Sobriety

When did alcohol become absolutely necessary for boys and girls to interact?  Back in middle school we all attended those awkward first boy/girl parties. Sure they were uncomfortable at first, but we made it work. We found ways to entertain ourselves and mingle with the opposite sex. We played games ranging from “Twister” and “Just Dance” to “7 Minutes in Heaven.” Then we grew up and “Spin the Bottle” and Mario Kart competitions were no longer enough to get the party going. In order for it to be a real festivity, alcohol became a necessity. I’m by no means against the current party scene, (trust me, I love it), but is it only possible for guys and girls to hang out when alcohol is involved? Why does it seem impossible for people to attend events such as watching a movie, going to an arcade, bowling or roller blading or something as simple as a BBQ without pre-gaming it?

When a guy likes a girl, he might take her on a date to go see a movie, and when that happens, he (hopefully) doesn’t take shots before picking her up. So what’s the difference? If a fraternity decides to have a BBQ then finds out they can’t provide alcohol, they shouldn’t cancel it and whoever is attending shouldn’t pregame it. It is possible to talk to the opposite sex without a beer in hand. It’s also possible without a book in hand for that matter. There are other topics to discuss besides “What did you think of that exam?” When did we become socially incapable of conversation without the aid of booze or without work to discuss?

One collegiette might ask, “What ever happened to dates and chivalry?” It seems like nowadays everything is backwards, you meet the guy at a party, probably drunk then you make out and then maybe he asks you to lunch sometime. Whatever happened to slipping the cute girl in English class a note asking her to get coffee? Or better yet, waiting for her after class to ask her in person? One of my friends was worried about going to lunch with a guy because they only text occasionally throughout the week and then hook up on the weekends, where alcohol precedes the act. They have yet to really hang out sober. But this happens often. Perhaps it is what is expected from the college scene. Or maybe it’s the fear that we won’t be as cute and witty sober. Alcohol gives people liquid confidence. People fear not being accepted by others. Without alcohol, we worry guys won’t like us.

Another collegiette boldly states, “Basically we’ve been conditioned to see alcohol as an excuse for any behavior. [For example] you can say, ‘whoops I was soooo drunk’ as an excuse for basically any weird [stuff] you do or say. But if there is no alcohol, everyone just judges you and thinks you’re a weird freak.”  This perfectly describes how we tend to view alcohol. Our perception is that if we keep the booze flowing, we are guaranteed a good time without any embarrassing mishaps that could otherwise occur when we are sober. When we are drinking, any misfortunes can be easily looked over or blamed on the alcohol, but when we are sober, they are harder to forget.

Once alcohol was introduced into our social lives, it became an enabler. We have become reliant on alcohol to make us fun, cool, confident and attractive. Without it, we feel, well, awkward. We use alcohol as a crutch, a way to avoid any awkwardness. But we shouldn’t fear being tongue-tied. Collegiettes, have faith in yourselves, you are beautiful, smart, funny and interesting people. Deep down, we all have silly, quirky sides, guys included. Once we change our perceptions and stop assuming that sober means awkward, we can overcome our fears of being flirty and confident without the alcohol. Not to mention, have fun and meet some really great guys. I’m not saying it isn’t fun to drink, let loose, dance and make-out, but I think there is something to be gained from guys and girls hanging out sober. Be bold and confident, collegiettes. Take credit for your wit; blame it on your charm, not your red cup.