I am sure that everyone has had to have a conversation that they have been dreading. It can be hard to discuss serious and sensitive topics and money is just one of them. Older generations have been taught that openly talking about money is rude. In fact, it is said that about 50% of adults actively avoid talking about money in all capacities. However, sometimes the topic cannot and should not be avoided. There have been many times in which I have found that openly talking about money has made my life easier and has even improved my relationships with others. Many young adults and college students do not understand the importance of talking about money and the know how to do so.
As a soon-to-be graduate who has been through the job search and has successfully secured a job, money has been something that has been on my mind for awhile. Not only in terms of my annual salary, but how I will need to budget my expenses. How am I supposed to follow my budget when my friends suggest going out to dinner every week? How do I say no? These are some questions that may or may not come up for you. Whether you are employed or a current college student still figuring this out, it is okay.
Here are some tips on how to start this conversation.
- Create an environment of trust and respect
Everyone is coming from different backgrounds and experiences and one of them is their financial situations. At a school like Bucknell, it is easy to assume that everyone has money but that is not always the case. Trust and respect are important for starting this conversation. Do not force a conversation but push yourself and your friends out of their comfort zone.
- Ask questions
Before assuming that your friends want to go out to eat or on a trip, ask them. It can be uncomfortable and extremely awkward to cancel previously set plans because you find that it suddenly does not fit into your budget anymore. Become more comfortable saying “That is not really in my budget anymore…can we do ________ instead?” To your surprise, you might not be the only one who feels this way. Coming to the understanding that the reason you are saying no is not because you do not want to, but that you cannot is key. I have come to learn that after having this conversation with friends, life has gotten easier and this weight has been lifted off my shoulders. Now, we have conversations of how many times we can go out and if one of us cannot, we think of something else to do. If your questions come from a place of trust and respect, then they will not come across as “rude.”
- Be honest
If you are having this conversation, there is no use in lying. While it may put you in a vulnerable position, especially if you may not have as much money as your friends, lying will only make things worse. Being honest with not only yourself but with your friends about your budget and boundaries creates more trust and respect. Think of it this way: your friends can help you stick to your budget.
- Do not compare
Everyone has a different financial situation and it is constantly changing. As students, some of us receive weekly allowances, some work on campus, and some have no incoming money. As soon-to-be graduate, everyone’s financial situation is going to change whether or not they are going to graduate school, some will have jobs, and some might still be figuring out what they want to do.
One of the main reasons why a lot of people do not like talking about money is the fear of comparison. I hate to break it to you, but comparison is inevitable but how you go about this comparison is what makes a difference. By keeping this trust and respect with your friends and thus creating a safe space, there should be no need for comparisons. Enjoy and celebrate your friends’ accomplishments whether that be a promotion or having bought something lavish. Likewise, they will enjoy and celebrate your own accomplishments!