Do you believe in fate and happily ever after? Is your Netflix viewing history swamped with schmaltzy, borderline embarrassingly cheesy rom coms? Do you have a Pinterest board designated solely to gathering aesthetic inspiration for your future wedding?
Well, dear collegiette, if you answered yes to any/all of the aforementioned questions, there’s no need to feel ashamed. In fact, research finds reason for you to rejoice. A study conducted by Sarah Vannier, Ph.D., a postdoctoral fellow at Dalhousie University in Canada, restores our hope in the hopeless romantic. Her forthcoming case in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships concludes that holding romantic notions near and dear to your heart – things like love at first sight, soul mates, destiny, etc. – may be the key to a more satisfying, fulfilling relationship.
Before you get too excited, keep in mind that this study pertains exclusively to people in relationships. Unfortunately, it says nothing about the single hopeless romantics of the world, the ones devising elaborate schemes to ever-so-coincidentally “run into” their crush on the quad for the third time this week.
Instead, the study the targets the taken population; the 270 18-to-28-year-old interviewees were all in committed relationships.
So what exactly did the study set out to do? Vannier wanted to challenge the idea that clinging onto romantic beliefs while in a relationship is a bad thing. The notion that high romantic expectations only lead to disillusionment is deeply entrenched in modern society. Naysayers everywhere are convinced that the real world simply isn’t conducive to the sappy, saccharine romances depicted in books and movies.
“Basically, if you are expecting Prince Charming, you are going to be disappointed when you meet a guy who doesn’t own a castle, even if he is great in every other way,” says Vannier. Popular opinion has it that if we demand too much from our partners, we only set ourselves for disappointment and overall unhappiness.
However, the data from Vannier’s study suggests otherwise. After interviewing the participants, Vannier noted that those who identified as hopeless romantics were more likely to report greater relationship commitment and satisfaction. There was no link between a rosy outlook on love and unmet romantic expectations.
“People with romantic beliefs did have higher expectations, but they were also more likely to see their partner as meeting those expectations,” Vannier explains.
“It is hard to say whether this is because they are seeing their partner through rose-colored glasses—e.g., their beliefs about prince charming make them think their partner is Prince Charming, even if other people might think that he is a frog—or if this is because they found and chose a partner who meets their expectations.”
So there you have it: there’s absolutely nothing wrong with being a hopeless romantic. Feel free to sit down with your S.O. and force him or her to re-watch The Notebook with you for the zillionth time – a little “Nicholas Sparks and chill” clearly never killed nobody.
But here’s a question that remains unanswered: what does this study have to offer to all the single collegiettes around there? In an age where the incredibly efficient hookup culture reigns supreme on college campuses nationwide, it’s hard to imagine a hopeless romantic thriving in this kind of social climate.
Unfortunately, Vannier’s study leaves this question open-ended. Her study does nothing to address the love-related woes of single folk. So single ladies, until we find out more about this topic, don’t lose hope. Keep calm, but more importantly, keep Pinning – your future wedding dress-wearing self will thank you.
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