Finding Alone Time When You're in a Relationship

You love your significant other.  So, naturally, you want to spend all your free time with them. You two share the same interests, you make each other laugh, you love to be around them. It’s totally reasonable to feel that way.

Keeping your independence is important not just in a romantic relationship, but in all types of relationships.  For instance, maybe you and your BFF are inseparable. It’s essentially the same: you need to stay independent.

But who draws the line between commitment and unhealthy attachment? There is no distinct line that dictates when too much time together is too much.  

 

Realizing when it is unhealthy:

Take a deep breath and look back on your life since you started dating your partner.  What has changed?

Perhaps you haven’t seen your best friends in what feels like ages.  Perhaps you are way behind watching that show you used to love to binge-watch.  Perhaps you just wish that you had a bit more time for yourself.  

If you feel as if you need your significant other around to make you feel better about yourself, or no longer enjoy doing things on your own, you may have an unhealthy attachment (https://abrandtherapy.com/3-warning-signs-you-have-an-unhealthy-attachment-to-your-partner/). It is not healthy to rely on your partner for every aspect of your day–you eat when they eat, you feel the need to check in with them about every little detail of your day.

 

Talk to your partner:

If you feel that you are spending too much time with your significant other, talk to them. It’s important to remember that your partner likes you for who you are.  Taking some time for yourself will not change that, so don’t be afraid to voice your concerns. By speaking up and discussing your concern, you and your partner can communicate a way to stay independent while still going forward with your relationship.  Not communicating can just lead to tension arising and creating conflict later down the road.

It’s wonderful to spend time with your partner but it is also important to keep a healthy balance between what you love and what your partner loves. You may fear that spending time alone will make you look distant, but it can actually be incredibly beneficial to you and your relationship.