Ex-Hook Up Etiquette

Boy likes girl. Girl likes boy. Boy and girl hook up. Boy and girl stop hooking up. Now what? It seems like there is a guide for just about every possible romantic scenario in life: How to win the guy’s heart, how to make him notice you, how to get out of a toxic relationship. But what about how to act and deal with an ex-hookup? Let’s take a look at some potential predicaments and how to get around them.

The “One-Time” Hook Up

So you had one truly romantic and Notebook-worthy night with the guy from your bio class in the basement of his frat. Ok, so maybe not so romantic. But still, you hooked up one time a few weeks ago and now he’s walking up the hill as you’re walking down it. Interaction seems inevitable. But what if he doesn’t remember you? You guys would have hooked up more times if he did, right? Wait, what’s his name again? PANIC.

No, no, do not panic. As your paths cross heading down the hill give him a glance and a friendly smile. If he doesn’t remember you, he’ll think you’re just a nice, cute girl giving him a smile. And if he does remember you, he’ll be relieved that you too remember him and are acknowledging him with a simple and friendly greeting.

The “He Stopped-Talking-To-You” Hook-Up

First of all, rude. No one deserves to be ignored, especially someone you were intimately involved with. Unfortunately, it happens so here’s how to deal. If you were hooking up with a guy a few times and he abruptly stops talking to you, it’s natural to feel offended or hurt so there’s no need to go out of your way to interact with this guy. You don’t even need to be particularly charming. But being respectful never hurt anyone (even if he didn’t treat you with that same respect). So if you run into him at the library café, flash that winning smile and give him a casual hello. Acknowledging that you two shared something at one point is important. Ignoring him all together is really more awkward and a nonchalant greeting reminds him of what a cool girl you are and what a shame it was he let you go.

The “Ex-Hook-Up-You-Want-To-Rekindle” Hook Up

We all have those ex-hook ups where things ended and we’re not totally sure why. Both parties went their separate ways and that was that. Well what if you’re lookin’ to rekindle that flame? Sometimes going back to an ex-hook up isn’t the best idea, though. Ask yourself why things really ended. If it was an unhealthy relationship or you weren’t getting what you wanted out of it, maybe you shouldn’t go back to him. But if you both just drifted for no apparent reason, go ahead and test out the waters.

He’s standing in the wrap line and you’re in the sandwich line. You glance to your left and he’s right there next to you. He looks up from his phone and you catch his attention. Say hello and ask how he’s doing! There’s no better icebreaker than showing genuine interest in someone else. And hopefully he’ll reciprocate. Strike up a casual conversation about something going on on campus or an upcoming event. Suggest that he go to the event too and hint that you hope to see him there! Gage his response and trust your gut. If he seemed excited at the prospect of seeing you again soon, keep on rekindling! If he acted disinterested or wasn’t engaged in your convo it may mean that flame is not worth firing up again.  

What it all comes down to is respect. Maybe things didn’t work out or you feel awkward seeing him again, but we all deserve to be treated with respect regardless of the situation or the outcome. So the next time you fear an awkward encounter, face it head on. You’ll be happy you did.