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Decoding Selena Gomez’s New Song ‘Lose You To Love Me’

On October 23rd, Selena Gomez mesmerized the world by releasing “Lose You To Love Me”: the lead single to her upcoming album. Selena has released a few singles over the past couple of years including “Fetish,” “It Ain’t Me,” “Wolves,” and “Bad Liar.” However, Selena has not released an album since October 9th, 2015, that album being “Revival.” Now that it is four years later, Selena and her team found it appropriate to hit us all with her most powerful song yet. “Lose You To Love Me” is filled with 100% raw emotion. This killer ballad will make you cry, smile, and dance all at the same time. Selena Gomez completely poured her heart out into this song. Trust me, it was worth the wait. 

Now I know what you are all thinking. Who is this song about? Is it about Justin Bieber? The Weeknd? Maybe both? These two singers seem to be the obvious front runners for who this song could be about. When the song first came out I was not sure what to expect. Would she release another love song about Justin? Or would she finally sing about someone else that was in her life more recently? After a few listens, I figured it out. This song is indeed, once again, about Justin Bieber. I know I know, BIG shocker there. But let me tell you, it finally might be the last. And here’s why. 

Lyric #1:

“Sang off-key in my chorus

‘Cause it wasn’t yours”

In general, saying that someone “sang off-key” in your chorus means that that person is not the right fit for you. While this is completely true for Justin and Selena, there is also a quite literal meaning behind the phrase as well. In 2016, DJ Snake released the popular song “Let Me Love You” featuring Justin Bieber. Later on, a five-second clip of Selena singing the “Let Me Love You” chorus was leaked. Rumors started spreading that it was originally supposed to be Selena’s song, not Justin’s. Therefore, Justin is off-key in Selena’s chorus. You gotta love the double meaning here.


Lyric #2:

“We’d always go into it blindly”

When I heard this line, I knew it wasn’t about The Weeknd. Their relationship lasted about ten months in 2017, however, was never reconciled. When Selena sings the words “we’d always go into it blindly,” she is referring to multiple occasions when her and Justin were on and off. Every other public relationship Selena has had seemed to be one and done. Plus, right after The Weeknd and Selena broke up, Selena got back together with Justin in October 2017.

Selena and Justin out for a bike ride in Los Angeles, November 1st 2017.

Lyric #3:

“This dance, it was killing me softly”

This line instantly made me think of a song lyric Selena sang in her touching song “Love Will Remember” that she released in 2013 on her first solo album “Stars Dance.” This song was confirmed to be about Justin. The most powerful part of this song is when Selena sings “Somewhere in forever, we’ll dance again.” But now, all of that dancing (the on and off relationship) has exhausted her.

Lyric #4:

“I needed to lose you to love me”

This line almost works as a direct response to Justin’s song “Where Are U Now” that was confirmed to be about Selena. Justin sings “Where are you now that I need you?” and in “Lose You To Love Me,” Selena sings that losing him made her love herself. She never wanted Justin to “find” her again. It’s like Selena is telling Justin where she has been all those years.

Lyric #5:

“In two months, you replaced us

Like it was easy

Made me think I deserved it

In the thick of healing”

These lyrics are some of the most heartbreaking. Justin and Selena called it quits once again at the end of March 2018. Just two months later, Justin was spotted out with Hailey Baldwin. Then in July 2018, Justin and Hailey were officially engaged. Justin was engaged to Hailey so quickly and there was a lot of speculation that he did it to force himself to get over Selena. But to Selena, it was a huge slap in the face that he was so quick to jump into another serious relationship. 

Selena sings about how she had to deal with all of this “in the thick of healing,” not only from Justin, but with her own health battle. Throughout 2017 and 2018, Selena’s battle with the autoimmune disease known as Lupus, worsened tremendously. During the summer of 2017, Selena underwent a kidney transplant where she received a kidney from her best friend Francia Raisa. Selena announced during an intimate interview with The Today Show’s, Savannah Guthrie, that if it was not for that surgery, she would have died. 


Now, there are two more things I want to bring to your attention. Neither of which have anything to do with the song lyrics. Along with the song, Selena also released the “Lose You To Love Me” music video at the same time: midnight of October 23rd. Six minutes later, at 12:06 AM, Hailey Bieber, posted this on her Instagram story:

So here’s the deal with this. I am not really sure what was going through Hailey’s head at this point but, whatever it was, it was not smart. As a huge Selena fan myself,if that isn’t obvious already, I was furious to see that Hailey would post a screenshot of a song titled “I’ll Kill You” just minutes after Selena’s big release. Selena’s fans were so furious about this distasteful post, that it led to Hailey turning her Instagram comments off. A little later, Selena responded with this on her own story:

Like, OKAY COME BACK QUEEN. I have always loved Selena for being so wise with her words and have always commended her for killing them with kindness. Ha get it? Like Selena’s song “Kill Em With Kindness?” Sorry, I just had to. Clearly, Selena is writing about her intense love for God and Jesus. Simultaneously, she is telling the world that she sees “the enemy that keeps trying to tear me down and it’s just not gonna happen. Not today. Not the next” aka Hailey Bieber.

Last but not least, in 2014, Selena performed her hit song “The Heart Wants What It Wants” at the American Music Awards. During the final seconds of this performance, an image of a man pressing his hands up against the screen appeared behind her. Since this song is about Justin, the world put the pieces together. During the “Lose You To Love Me” music video, Selena appears to be mimicking this image with her own hands.


So there you have it folks, Selena’s finally done with Justin and I am so hear for it. Selena ends the song by singing: 

“And now the chapter is closed and done, And now it’s goodbye, it’s goodbye for us.”

Take that Biebers!

Check out Selena’s new song and music video!


Lexi Smilow

Bucknell '20

writer from Bucknell University. I write about mostly lifestyle and sports!
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