Dear Celebs who think they’re all that and a bag of potato chips,
While I can appreciate that your celeb status puts you at the center of attention and you are constantly hounded by the paparazzi that feel the need to document you doing the most mundane things ever (LOOK THEY’RE JUST LIKE US), sometimes you guys get a little crazy. I’m not talking Lindsay Lohan and her “let’s do all of the drugs attitude.” I’m talking more about when you suddenly feel that as a celebrity you are entitled to make stupid decisions or assumptions on large groups of people. For example, Mel Gibson’s charming life decisions to attack entire races or like when Naomi Campbell attacks her secretaries and nothing really all that awful happens to her. You’re still citizens of the United States who have to answer to the law, just in case that wasn’t clear. Reese Witherspoon, honey; I’m lookin’ at you. Yes, we all know who you are sweetheart and now we can all look at your beautiful mugshot. The amount of you who have mugshots is actually insane. And yet, we still pay to see your movies or listen to your albums.
Who knows why? Why do we care that Taylor Swift broke up with whoever was crazy and dumb enough to date her in the first place? Sorry Tswift, I knew you were trouble when you went ahead and invited yourself to a Kennedy wedding, babe. While we’re on the topic of inappropriate behavior, Jbiebs, you’ve got to be kidding me. I’m all about getting cultured (which beteedubs never involves listening to your music), but let’s leave Anne Frank alone and bury your hope that she would be a “belieber” (REALLY??!) asap. Seriously. I hope that because of this, maybe Twitter won’t be full of people asking, “who is Anne Frank?” and “why is Jbiebs at her house?!?!” Don’t worry beliebers, but maybe you know, pick up a book.
As if we didn’t already have to deal with average people making mistakes, you guys get up and do worse things and then because we love to imagine how different your lives are you show up plastered on the cover of a tabloid. And some of the things you guys say are just ridonkulous. Seriously, maybe think twice before you blurt things out *cough KANYE WEST cough* or just use your common sense. We like to watch you in movies, we like to judge what you wear on the red carpet, and apparently we like to see you fail at life. But for your own sakes, get your sh*t together.
HCXO,
Eliza