Dear Abby: Hateful at Home

Dear Abby,

I live with a bunch of girls in a house…one of them has a huge mouth and recently told everyone that I hooked up with my ex, which I didn’t want anyone to know. I don’t want to create tension in our house, but I’m really mad at her. Any suggestions?

From,

Hateful at Home

Dear Hateful at Home,

…Awkward. I do think you need to say something to her, but you’re right, you need to be careful. Since you live with this girl and you care about avoiding a big blow out, I’m guessing that you are friends with her, as well as your other roommates. Everyone has that friend who gossips as if she’s paid per minute (and is a millionaire many times over), and that’s a tricky thing to deal with. We never confront her about it, because we know that makes us a pious gossip hypocrite, and we keep her around because—let’s face it—she always has the juicy scoop (sorry…this time it’s you). But, inside, we feel guilty about her. Kind of like that second cookie you just had to have…you know you shouldn’t eat it, but it tastes sooooo good. I don’t think what she’s doing is right, and that you should write it off because everyone tells a secret every now and then, but I do think you should cut her a little slack. She probably doesn’t realize that she’s hurting your feelings because no one ever talks to her about it. In fact, she probably doesn’t even know that you didn’t want everyone else to know or felt so protective over it. You need to talk to her about what she told, because that’s what this is really about, not who she told. You need to tell her that this wasn’t something stupid you did at the bar last night, but something really important to you. If she’s really your friend then she’ll know the difference and apologize, profusely. If she doesn’t get it, then at least you let her know how you feel, and you can realize she probably isn’t friend material for you. You can live in harmony with people you aren’t friends with, as long as you’re honest about what you expect from them and stand up for yourself when you feel you’ve been violated.

Good luck!

Abby

What would you do? Post your comments below!

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