Some people like to be in committed relationships. Some people like to hook up. Everyone likes privacy – and this privacy becomes paramount when it comes to “sexiling.” Being sexiled is when your roommate essentially kicks you out for sex. While you might be excited for your roommate to have a great sex-capade, you might also be annoyed by the logistical inconveniences you face as a result. A hookup opportunity could arise at any time, including the exact time you want to go sleep, cram for an exam, or even just have some peace and quiet. Fortunately, by following a few simple steps, you can deal with sexiling in a way that is comfortable for everyone.
Set aside time to chat with your roommate before any sexiling happens.
While you might not want to be THAT roommate that sets a ton of rules, it is important to remember that you have a right to be comfortable in your living space. Setting aside a time to have a quick chat with your roommate will provide you both with a living environment that works for you both. Start your conversation by saying that while you completely understand that your roommate needs privacy, you would like to set a few boundaries. These boundaries could include asking that she give you notice before inviting a guest to your room, instead of you randomly receiving a text that says “haha hey, could I have the room to myself for a little?” Boundaries could also mean asking your roommate that she doesn’t have people over during the week or past a certain time of the night. Having this important conversation can prevent any disagreements before they begin.
Come to an agreement that you are both comfortable with.
You should accept that sooner or later, there is a possibility that you may be sexiled. Everyone’s sex lives are different, and part of being a college student is accepting that. Compromise is key here – for example, you might have to allow for some wiggle room for how late the two of you can have guests over. You can help your roommate plan as well by filling her in on when you would like some privacy in your room. Whatever boundaries you and your roommate decide on, every rule should be agreed upon mutually.
Having one awkward conversation with your roommate can save you many headaches down the road. By setting some ground rules early on, you and your roommate both can live harmoniously while still having fun.