As young women, we are expected to date in high school and college and then settle down soon after graduation to start a family. While this model works for some, it definitely doesn’t work for everyone, and society’s hyper-fixation on putting a timeline on life and relationships is damaging. According to the American Psychological Association, 40-50 % of marriages in the United States end in divorce, so maybe the model that we have been conditioned to follow should be questioned.
So how do we ensure our relationships are more meaningful and last a lifetime (if that’s what you want)? The key is to be intentional about what you want when you are looking for a serious relationship, and the only way to be intentional is to learn about what works for you by casually dating.
What is casual dating? According to Women’s Health Magazine, casual dating is when you get to know someone on a romantic level but don’t plan on staying with them long term. The key to casual dating is to be open and upfront with the other person about your intentions so you both are on the same page and there are no mismatched expectations. Casual dating might mean going on a lot of dates, dating one person but deciding that you don’t want it to be serious, or anything else you want it to mean. The main goal of casual dating is to learn what you like in a partner and what you need in a relationship. Casual dating can also teach you how to be a good partner to other people.
Casual dating should be more accepted because it’s almost impossible to know exactly what you want without experience. In your twenties and thirties, you are just entering adulthood, establishing a career, and learning about yourself. Maybe you don’t have time for a serious relationship or maybe (and most commonly) you just don’t know who you are as a person yet. It is important to learn self-love and appreciation before you enter a serious relationship, but that doesn’t mean you can’t have fun and explore your options along the way.
The world is full of billions of people who can each teach you and show you something entirely different. It is important to place less pressure on yourself to immediately find the one and focus more on enjoying life. Date who you want, reject who you want, and most importantly, make a concerted effort to discover your own wants, needs, passions, ideas, etc. Once you have found who you are meant to be and discovered what you want in relationships, and even friendships, finding that person to settle down with will be a lot easier.
*This article was written from the lens of someone who has monogamous relationships but that is not the universal experience. This article is applicable to all relationships including polygamous ones.
Citations:
https://www.womenshealthmag.com/relationships/a25632872/casual-dating-rules/