This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Bucknell chapter.

Over the summer, actress Zoe Saldana and her husband Marco stirred up some controversy, but not for the reasons that typically plaster the covers of supermarket tabloids. Neither Zoe nor Marco declared bankruptcy, was arrested, or went to rehab. Instead, the media threw a fit when it discovered that Marco unconventionally chose to take Zoe’s last name following the couple’s clandestine wedding in 2013. Reports say she tried to talk him out of it, but he insisted. Come again?

Indeed, more and more modern newlyweds are exploring alternatives to the traditional wife-takes-husband’s-name protocol. ThoughtCatalog recently published 15 men’s thoughts on the idea of taking their wife’s surname after marriage. Unsurprisingly, most of these men were uncomfortable with or opposed to the idea: One described the thought as “emasculating.” Another declared the family his “domain,” thus arguing that his name should be the one to survive throughout future generations. A third even dared to complain, “taking her name? That’s not fair. That’s just lame.”

These reactions obviously elicit defiance from the feminist population, perhaps mostly because they are not backed by any concrete rationale. Consider the third man’s logic, for instance: How is it “fair” that the majority of American women almost automatically assume their husbands’ names after marriage? Does mere precedent make it “fair” for women to unquestioningly sacrifice their identities the moment they say “I do”? Marriages are partnerships – not hierarchies. Both parties involved should, in theory, have equal weight of opinion when it comes to decisions that affect them both.

This isn’t suggesting that men should be blamed for their initial discomfort with the idea of reversing a trend that has survived for centuries. Many women likely feel the same way – remember, even Zoe Saldana was reluctant to let Marco adopt her surname.

Likewise, this isn’t an insistence that women should all begin to force their maiden names on their husbands. This is a demand for discussion. It’s the twenty-first century; we’ve already established that women are not inferior to men, and thus, we have the right to challenge standard gender roles. Women should not feel obligated to take the “path of least resistance.” If a woman wants to explore alternatives to said path, then she and her husband should voice rationale and concerns for all possible options.

Believe it or not, some of the men interviewed by ThoughtCatalog were actually open to the possibility of taking their wife’s name. One thought it silly that men should automatically assume the “honor” of passing his name down the family tree. Another agreed that as long as the couple’s children share their DNA, the last name of the family was inconsequential. Even though the prospect of taking his wife’s last name may have initially struck these men as peculiar, their willingness to consider the idea displays a reassuring step forward for gender equality. Whatever last name a woman (or man) chooses, it is important to recognize that she or he has options – a newlywed’s name doesn’t magically change on the altar for a reason.

Sources:

Can a Man Take His Wife’s Last Name?

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