Ahh, the stubborn girl- a rare but incredibly interesting breed of women that roams every college campus. You’ll read articles everywhere of how difficult it is to date Taurus’s because we are strong-willed, independent, speak our true thoughts; the list goes on and on. But, only stubborn girls truly know the inward battle we face on a daily basis. Sure, we seem steadfast and decisive on the outside, but on the inside our mixed emotions and conflicting messages from the heart send us into a battlefield of utter confusion and skepticism, leaving us bruised and broken sometimes. It is a stubborn battle of our own wits that more often than not seems like will end without a winner. Sure, I might be being a tad dramatic, but you get the idea. Don’t believe me? I’ve mapped out the 10-stage though process of a classic situation (obtaining a boyfriend) from a stubborn girl’s perspective. Hang on tight!
1. You spot a boy on the quad or in the lib and think, “Yeah, he’s kind of cute”
He’s cute (you guess) in a sort of ironic, adorable, ‘hey kissing you might be fun a little bit’ sort of way. But nothing more than cute: can’t let anyone have the satisfaction of knowing that you might be pursuing him. You’ll just wait and see if you casually run into him that night…
2. OMG is that him standing by the keg?
You think this to yourself of course, because letting your friends hear would defeat your obstinate view of never needing a man to be happy. All night you’ve been ranting on about how it’s a GNO and how you and all your friends would order Dominoes together later that night. So instead you decide let’s just play it cool, and wait for him to see you. Making a move first would break all of the codes.
3. The next morning hits and he’s in your bed- but it’s all okay because it was just a make out.
Casual, no worries here! So you danced and made out and had a couple of beers. All in all a fun night- you didn’t even exchange numbers. It was nothing! Really, nothing. Nothing. Say nothing one more time for reassurance and comfort.
4. Later that night you get a text from an unknown number saying “Hey”.
Immediate reaction= anger, a result of the defense mechanism. How the hell did he get your number? He must’ve inboxed someone who knew your friend on facebook who then had to email your friend who didn’t respond because she doesn’t check email on a Saturday so he then looked you up on the school directory? Or, you just gave him your number the night before.
5. Your friends pry a few days later (with good intentions) and you make sure to say you 100% DON’T like him.
Guys, how many times can I possibly say the word “nothing”! He means nothing. But nothing slowly fades in your own mind when you can’t seem to get him out of your head. Something weird is definitely going on.
6. The next weekend you decide to make out with someone else just to prove how you’re SO not into boy #1.
It’s a matter of making a point to your friends who refuse to listen that you don’t like him. So you make out with someone else at a random party with high hopes of it being magically eye-opening. But it is incomparable. Panic. What could this possibly mean…
7. Madness prevails and you end up hooking up, hanging out, and talking to no one else but cutie on the quad for the next couple of months (but it’s still nothing of course)
So, what are you guys? What DON’T you see in him? I don’t get it, why aren’t you guys dating already! You work perfectly together. Your friends nag endlessly. Even your professor tells you that you seem “happier” lately. These questions pile in the pit of your stomach, all left unanswered of course.
8. He finally approaches you and mentions the b word (GASP), but you back out before it’s too late.
Talking about feelings? Casually and sober on a Tuesday night while watching a Disney film? And the word “boyfriend” slips into the conversation? Your brain is an army of red flags frantically waving you in the direction of anywhere else besides this boy. So you naturally disrupt all that you have with a few choice words and run for your life (or rather, ask him politely to leave your dorm room.)
9. And your friends recognize the self-sabotage ridiculousness in your train of thought and come to your rescue.
You like him, let’s be honest. It’s okay. Their reassurance and guidance help you gather the guts that are within and do what you really want.
10. You finally dive all in and love like no other girl can, because once a boy breaks a stubborn girl there is no going back.
And if he is willing to deal with you and all the stubbornness that makes you who you are, then hold onto him tight because it’s not an easy task.