Losing love, ending a relationship, being alone. You think you will never heal and, even though it may have been healthier to walk away than to keep trudging along, it is painful. Rupi Kaur gets this pain. Her work clearly shows that while she has had her heart crumpled, she’s grown from her experience. In her latest work, the sun and her flowers, the young Canadian writer shares her emotions as well as her growth from the hurt. This book has taught me about growth in response to a loss and how I’ve processed. With each new phase that Rupi presents in her text, I have realized that heartache is actually the best thing to become a brighter, better version of myself. The real me.
wilting
“ i envy the winds
who still witness you” – Rupi Kaur
Losing someone requires letting go when you know you need to. For some people, it’s the easiest part of a breakup. In my experience, it is the most painful thing: forcing yourself to forget the person and memories shared that you once held so close to your heart and soul. And Rupi gets this. “Wilting” is filled with the anger, regret, nostalgia, and longing that comes along with getting over someone. It’s about accepting that love is not one person or one relationship in all cases, but instead, it’s a process of trial, error, and hope. The image of a wilted flower is more powerful than the typical “crushed soul” mentality. Rupi suggests that we are never permanently damaged by heartbreak. We just need time to grow.
Some favorite pieces from “wilting”: pages 15, 19, 30, 49
falling
“what is stronger
than a human heart
which shatters over and over
and still lives” – Rupi Kaur
So you’ve gotten over the heartbreak and tragedy of losing someone. Now, according to Rupi, comes the self-doubt phase. The poems in this section come from a nowhere-girl-esque voice — when you thought you had found yourself in someone and are left in the dark to find another love. These poems show a very truthful side to starting over that isn’t shown on mainstream media. It’s hard to get back in your groove, especially when an aspect of your life no longer exists and you’re left to cope. Despite this painful side of bouncing back after a loss, the end of “falling” reveals a boost of confidence and hope that the funk will pass and one’s inner goddess will return to her rightful place.
Some favorite pieces: pages 66, 79, 89, 105
rooting
“my mother sacrificed her dreams
so i could dream” – Rupi Kaur
This section is the ultimate reason why I love Rupi Kaur’s work and her perspective on life in general. “Rooting” proves that moms, including our Mother Earth, really are the best for inspiration and encouragement. The poems in this section are centered around what her mother and her culture have gone through to be where they are today. It takes the narrow-lensed fixation on negativity that surrounds loss and widens it so that we are reminded of all the great challenges conquered to achieve even the slightest sense of peace. In this fact, I find comfort and reassurance that sometimes (to mimic the theme of the book), a flower needs to grow through dirt to see the sun.
Some favorite pieces: pages 120, 131, 133, 137
rising
“i do not need the kind of love
that is draining
i want someone
who energizes me” – Rupi Kaur
After regaining the strength to put yourself back out into the world, you eventually find someone new. Just reading Rupi’s words on new love gave me butterflies. It’s an exciting time that seems to restore the air to your lungs that you didn’t know was missing. The poems in this section describe the excitement of a new relationship, but also the doubts or fears left by the last one and what it takes to work through the fear of starting fresh. They also dethrone your past love, labeling them as just another person you know. Overall, “rising” presents the goal of learning from past mistakes and restoring real love and happiness to one’s life.
Some favorite pieces: pages 156, 161, 162, 166, 172
blooming
“the day you have everything
i hope you remember
when you had nothing” – Rupi Kaur
The concluding section of the sun and her flowers acts as a humbling reminder to cherish what you have when it’s good and to recognize a problem when it arises. A problem faced in love is confusing good memories with a good relationship. Rupi, with more images of her mother and the independence of women, reminds us that happiness is key in life no matter who your ancestors are or where you come from. It is the perfect ending to such an honest, uplifting work that, from my personal experience, is essential to any kind of loss or heartbreak.
Some favorite pieces: 201, 204, 209, 220, 244
The most important lesson I’ve ruled from the sun and her flowers is that it’s okay to embrace my emotions, even though that in itself is a scary concept. But it is the only way to grow and to ascend back to a state of self-appreciation bold beauty. As long as I keep in mind my self-worth like Rupi Kaur preaches, I know I will be blooming in no time.