Lately, I’ve been thinking about the things that make me happy. I recently attended a memorial for Travis Roy, a man who radiated positivity, and one of the speakers at the event noted that happiness comes from what you give to other people.
Travis went to my high school, Tabor Academy, and then went on to play D1 hockey at BU. He was a small-town guy who was incredibly talented and passionate about hockey. In his first shift on the ice as a freshman in 1996, he got slammed into the glass and broke his neck. Paralyzed from the waist down, he could never play hockey again.
Instead of focusing on what he lost in his accident, Travis learned to focus on what he gained. What Travis did with his life was use his own experience to help others going through the same thing. He ended up having an exponentially greater positive influence on so many more people than he ever would have if he had just made it to the NHL. Sadly, we lost Travis last October.
At the memorial it was clear that everyone in the room loved Travis. He was a close friend of my mother’s, and his loss left her and many others heartbroken. What struck me most is that Travis was just like me — he was from the East Coast, went to Tabor, he was an athlete and student, and then he took his passions with him to Boston University. I sail at BU, which I recognize is not much like hockey, but I went to Tabor to sail, and I came to BU to sail. I could just as easily get into an accident while sailing like Travis did while playing hockey.
Travis’s legacy, combined with the recent death of a Tufts lacrosse player who was my age, has made me seriously think about what I aim to do with my life. The first thing I did the morning after his memorial was text my best friends from Tabor and tell them how much I love them and how thankful I am for their presence in my life. The concept of gaining from what you give to others made me notice that most of my worries are selfish and/or trivial. My happiness has always come from the people around me and the things I experience with those people.
Travis Roy’s memorial wasn’t sad. It was only sad that the world lost such a wonderful person. But even in death he managed to bring a huge room full of people together, which pretty much describes what his life was like. He brought people together, and he gave hope to people who needed it. Travis is an example for everyone that there is always hope for a better day.
I think we could all learn a little bit from Travis (or a lot). He was described as many things by many people at his memorial, but I think I like the word ‘forgiving’ best. Life is too short to harbor ill-will. Emotions like hatred and anger that fuel grudges are what keep you from being happy. Ultimately, my thoughts are this: focus on the good things in life, because it could all change in an instant.
It took 11 seconds for Travis’s life to change forever. Tell your people that you love them as often as you can because you never know when your own life is going to change.
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