How to Enjoy the Beauty of Solitude–And Letting it Teach You Valuable Lessons

We live our entire lives with our families, and then we’re sent off to college to live by ourselves. This can be quite daunting—the fact that we’ll be alone, and not alone in the sense of the absence of people, but alone in the sense of the absence of deeper connections with people. This may be why many of us are constantly surrounding ourselves with friends or dating other people…we are in search of that deeper connection again. While doing this, it’s easy to lose sight of our true identity and instead fulfill the many roles that we choose to play in life. For that very reason, it’s important to take time to reflect and find what really is at the core of our being.

Photo Credit: Wisdom Quotes

When we’re alone, we have the time to reflect in a space free of judgment. We can think carefully about our virtues and faults, and stray from making the same mistakes over and over. It’s not healthy for the brain to be constantly entrenched with thoughts or engaged in activities. Without reflection, our brains are much like a hamster wheel constantly spinning—at one point you’ll need a break so that you can effectively keep on moving forward. There are many ways to reflect and it could be by writing in a journal or by simply thinking about your day on your way back home from class.

Photo Credit: Wisdom Quotes

Now, this isn’t to say that our interactions with friends and significant others aren’t important, but more so to highlight the importance of time for yourself. Miciah Bay Gault, author of Goodbye Stranger, wrote, “It seems so interesting to have spent years feeling lonely and longing for intimacy, and now to have it and long for loneliness. Without knowing it was happening, I equated loneliness with other things like creative impulsive, connection to nature and even ambition.” In a similar light, people tend to want to be single when they’re dating and want to be dating when they’re single. There is this obsession people (myself included) have with finding “the one.”

Photo Credit: Wisdom Quotes

There’s this idea that “the one” will make life better and everything will be okay once we find them, but sadly, this is just a bunch of bullshit. We can’t find or search or swipe right on the person we want to be with, because in doing this, we look for someone to fill a hole within ourselves.

So, it’s when you focus on yourself and your strengths that people will naturally gravitate towards you and all the amazing things you are accomplishing. It is in solitude that we learn what makes us confident and what makes life better — and what's more beautiful than that?

 

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