I always feel weird when people say they barely talk to their parents. I talk to my mom and dad every day; from bitmoji battles to quick FaceTime sessions between class, I’ve never gone a day in college without them. But it wasn’t always like that.
In high school, I had a relatively normal relationship with my parents. We had our usual family dinners, bickered about what show to watch, and went on family adventures here and there. I never felt any real angst towards them. But at the same time, I felt like there was a certain distance between us. No one was close to their parents in their teens; it would be just odd if I was.
Because I was around them all the time and knew what was expected of me, I think I was scared that I would disappoint them in some way — so I kept my distance. In my mind, my young adult issues with silly boys and silly drama were just nonsense to them. So, for the most part, I kept quiet about feelings. I would fill them in on the minor things: grades, weekend plans, One Direction gossip. And the rest, I would write about in a tiny journal that I kept throughout all four years.
Then, something seemed to changed my senior year of high school. Planning the future was hard. Accepting that I had to let the toxic out before accepting more good things into my life was hard. Knowing that I would be far away from my family was even harder. It stressed me out knowing that I would move on to another part of my life while my parents knew very little about who I was and how I felt.
One day, my mom found my uber emotional journal. She didn’t get mad or shove aside my feelings. Instead, we talked for a long time. And she sympathized. And for the first time ever, I realized that my parents were young once too (age: what a concept). Knowing that my mom went through almost everything that was happening to me was so comforting. In that moment, I decided that shutting my parents out was hurting me instead of easing my stress.
Since then, I’ve decided to kick open that door to “The Real Noelle” that had previously been ajar. And this made me realize something so important and so vital to who I am today: I am never really alone. The solution to the emptiness I would so often feel in my teens was right in front of me since day one. They’ve been there for me even when I was too ignorant to see it. In the honesty and openness that I applied to our relationship, I came to realize that Marie and Eli are the coolest parents and best friends I will ever have.
Being away from them has definitely strengthened our relationship. I look to their outside perspectives a lot when I have a dilemma. No matter how silly the things I share are, I always know they’re willing to listen. It’s comforting because we’ve reached a level of respect that I could never have imagined: they trust me with things going on in their lives while I’m willing to fill them in on my life in Boston.
The relationship renaissance that has happened between us has made my life so much more complete. I don’t think I could even fathom a day without texting my mom for boy advice and my dad about the funniest thing I did that day. In a world that’s eternally changing, they are my constant. They’ll always be my constant.