Female Perspective: The Good and the Bad of Having Sex

Sex is amazing.  Whether you’ve had sex or are still a virgin, sometimes hooking up with people leaves you wishing you hadn't. I’ve had my experiences while hooking up and some have been good and some have been bad.  Here are some of the things I’ve learned along the way of hooking up with people.  

1. Sometimes they don’t know what they’re doing.

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There is nothing less attractive than hooking up with someone who claims they're great in bed and talks a big game (pun intended), but when it comes to actually having sex they act like a newborn deer trying to understand its new legs. I wouldn’t mind hooking up with a guy if he’s never had sex before or is humble about his “skills,” but when he claims to be mind-blowing and doesn't follow through, it's a bit of a letdown. 

2. Foreplay.

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One of the most important parts of the sexual experience or arguably THE most important is foreplay.  You don’t drive a car in the winter without warming it up first, right? ATTENTION ALL MEN:  Don’t even bother coming over if you have no intention of going down on your woman.  It’s laughable when boys (notice my use of "boys" and not men) think they can get away with no foreplay for a woman.  Just like you guys like it, us women also like it.  Despite what your ego tells you, you’re not good enough in bed to skip out on foreplay.  Foreplay is a great sensation both parties should experience, so don’t be selfish in bed because even if you’re the giver, you’re still gonna be part of something amazing.

3. Hickeys.

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Let's all agree to leave hickeys in 2017.  There is nothing attractive or cute about sporting a hickey on your neck.  As college students, we encounter professionals and future employers in our daily lives.  Saying you burned your skin on your hair straightener is no longer a good excuse.  Although it feels good to kiss each other's necks, the remnants of it are not worth it.  So let's all make a pact to keep kissing each other's necks, but limit the biting or sucking for fear of looking like you got attacked by a vampire.

4. STD.

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Sex is great, but it does come at a cost sometimes.  STD’s are a very real and very scary consequence of sex.  Women often do not show symptoms, but they can still pass along the disease without showing any bumps or rashes.  The best way to avoid STDs is to ask your partner if they are clean and or have gotten tested.  There’s no shame in saying no to sex if you don’t know their sexual history or if they’ve taken an STD test recently.

5. Birth Control.

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Birth control is a great medication.  No matter what kind of birth control you have (the pill, IUD, the ring), they decrease your chances of getting pregnant.  Although guys do not take birth control, they should educate themselves on the burden it has on women and even check to see if the woman they’re hooking up with takes birth control.  Just as much as it’s not fair to women if men don’t use a condom without telling us, it’s not fair for women to not mention if they’re not on birth control.

6. It’s amazing.

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Sex is great.  It feels great and you can lose weight while you get your freak on.  For all of the negatives that sometimes come with sex, like STDs and unplanned pregnancies, sex is a great pleasure.  It’s hard to describe because it’s a different feeling for each person and is very personal.  

7. Peacefulness.

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No matter what kind of sex you have-- whether it's crazy and wild or slow and romantic-- the tiredness that overcomes you when you’re done is amazing.  Your bodies slump into one another's and you quietly fall asleep so peaceful and drained.  Sometimes the sleep you get after sex is better than the sex itself.  

8. It hurts.

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The first time girls have sex, whether it's the first time ever or the first time in a while, is painful.  Our bodies aren’t used to being penetrated and it can be painful.  It’s totally normal to feel pain and you shouldn’t feel bad or insecure if you do.  You choose if you want to keep having sex or stop because it’s too painful for you.

Just like many other things in life, sex has its pros and cons.  Some are more outrageous than others, but overall every man should be aware of the situations men put women in.  

 

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