Recently, I had a chat with a close friend about our willingness to do things for the otherwise senseless rationale of “for the plot” without dwelling on the possible consequences on ourselves and others.Â
This is a friend who has stuck with me since the first semester of college. We have seen each other live and learn while navigating a new, though now familiar, environment. In retrospect, we’ve changed so much in the ways we interact with others that we are almost unrecognizable from who we were in the beginning.Â
A few days ago, I went up to a guy I saw in passing and simply asked him out on a date. No hesitation. It was the first time I had done that. This is something I would never have thought I would do, since it was an impulsive decision and I am usually too unbothered to make a move. In some ways, though, it was an easy move to make because I found him attractive, but not to the point where I was necessarily interested or nervous. The cruelness of that, if I had evaluated my actions before the execution, is the lack of consideration for the “what could’ve been” — even if I knew from the start that nothing was going to happen. If anything were to arise, then it is just plain evil to start that way.
I asked him out with the intention of “do it for the plot” rather than “I want something with this person.” This was totally inconsiderate. Personally, I am a “slow-burn” girlie, which is why this action was so out-of-character.Â
The next morning, I woke up to an e-mail from my ex, and then I noticed I didn’t care. I felt so indifferent to receiving it that I saw it as if it were an e-mail from BU Today. If this had happened the day before, I would’ve cared so much. I realized I was forcing things to happen in my life to distract myself from the afflictions I am currently facing. I guess the lesson is to be patient with myself so I do not face ego-death with another short-term chase, or put myself in situations I do not want to be in from the start.Â
I don’t necessarily regret what I did because the truth is, we live, and we learn. We keep living it until it is learned.Â
Currently, my friend is faced with receiving an undesirable outcome from a choice, but still wants to go out of her way to make it happen just so she can experience it while she’s young. The rationale being: Do it in college, so the temptation will not be as bad in the future.Â
Unfortunately, another truth is that we are constantly changing, and we might face similar situations over and over again throughout our lives. But even if the scenarios are relatively comparable, different versions of ourselves will encounter them.Â
My optimism often gets blurred with my naivety. I am unsure if it is a liability or a blessing, but I know it got me both into and through interesting moments in my life. Although doing things “for the plot” doesn’t inherently contradict peacefulness, it feels far better to choose experiences over absence.
Just be sure these are experiences you can live with, not regret.
Want to keep up with HCBU? Make sure to like us on Facebook, follow us on Instagram, check out our Pinterest board, watch us on TikTok, and read our latest Tweets!