More often than not, peers respond with, “How do you do that?” or “I could never do that” when I share that I am in a long-distance relationship as a college student. I want to preface this by saying that with the right person, distance is merely a bump in the road.
It is not a ticking time bomb, and it is not a reason to stop loving this person. But it is also not easy. Separation tests you and teaches you a great deal about yourself and your partner. Choosing them every day while going long periods of time apart can be a challenge.
To help, I compiled a list of things you can do to make it easier!
- Establish non-negotiables.
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These make up a contract. You and your partner should agree on a few values to uphold and follow them daily. Honesty and loyalty are great non-negotiables. Under this concept, you can see each other to these standards. You could even talk about specific examples to narrow down their definition.
- Make the effort to call every night.
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Whether it’s for a few minutes or you fall asleep on the phone, it’s essential to have a conversation because it is a genuine form of human connection. A text hides emotional aspects. Hold off on messaging your partner throughout the day with brief updates so that you can later discuss your day in more detail.
- Trust yourself and your partner.
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Doubt can be destructive. Instead, ground yourself by asking, “Why do I love them?” and “How do I know they love me?” Memories replay, and you will feel more secure in your relationship and your decision, despite the distance.
- Utilize countdowns!
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Planning your next visit reminds you that the distance is temporary. A tip to make the days go by faster: avoid talking about the number. The less you pay attention to the days, the more they go by in the blink of an eye.
- Have your “things.”
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Even though you can’t spend time with them physically, try to integrate them into your life in some way. You can do this by making playlists, watching “your” show, or scheduling FaceTime coffee dates to reflect on the week. The more time you spend with them in your routine, the more it feels like they are truly there with you.
- Write letters.
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There is nothing more romantic than a handwritten letter. Sending and receiving letters from your partner gives you more of each other to hold onto. To be extra, you can even spray your perfume or cologne on the paper (spray it before you write on the paper, and then let it dry).
Distance is not the dealbreaker; it’s simply a chapter of the story. The strength of your relationship is primarily determined by how you show up for each other, even when you’re miles apart.
Don’t be afraid to get creative in your relationship!
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