Welcome to the last installment of Curly Q’s (for now).
I began this column hoping to help other curly girls by sharing my experiences and what I’ve learned. I also wanted to build a space like the ones that supported me.
I didn’t always get along with my hair; I used to resent it and tried to make it something it wasn’t. One of my earliest memories is arguing with my dad about my hair before school. I remember being upset that my hair never looked like the characters in early-2000s Barbie movies. Growing up as a pale mixed kid brought its own challenges, too. More than anything, I just wanted to fit in.
Straight hair was the norm, and I was always trying to achieve that goal. I tried the treatments, but as a kid, I couldn’t maintain that, and so ultimately, I just let it be. It took a while and a lot of learning about my hair for it to shift from being something done to me to something I loved doing.
Now, getting to my main point, some people might be surprised that hair can matter so much. That’s why I want to say: it’s not just hair. This applies to all hair textures, but especially to curls and coils.
The stigma surrounding curly hair is lengthy and rooted in the mindset that it’s wild, unprofessional, and unkempt —otherwise known as texturism. We must acknowledge that texturism is rooted in racism and the enforcement of Eurocentric standards still circulates in our societies today.
I mean, take The Princess Diaries: a whole part of Mia Thermopolis’s transformation is dedicated to straightening her frizzy, otherwise textured hair, and now all of a sudden she’s beautiful and princess-like.
When a character has a bad hair day, it’s often because their hair poofed into an afro or got curly in the rain, and the answer is always to straighten it. These small messages, repeated throughout our childhoods, make it easy to see why we associate curly and textured hair with not being beautiful, especially on ourselves.
It’s not just in our media and films, as texturism is in the workplace too. It’s not unheard of to get fired or sent home from work because your hair was in its natural texture or in braids. A 2020 Duke University study found that jobs perceived Black women with natural hairstyles as less professional and therefore less likely to be interviewed for a job compared to their white counterparts, regardless of their hairstyle.
As far as I know, someone’s hair doesn’t say anything about their skills or how well they can do their job.
There have been legal efforts made to counteract this intolerance. The CROWN (Creating a Respectful and Open World for Natural Hair) Act was signed into law in California in 2019, prohibiting discrimination based on hair texture and protective styles, such as braids, locks, and twists, in workplaces and schools. Since then, over 25 states have followed suit, but so far, nothing has been done at the federal level.
There’s evidence of change socially, too, at least from an internet standpoint. As I mentioned in my “Influencers You Should Follow” article, you can find a curly personality on the internet for almost every combination of hair texture, density, and porosity. When looking at the overall hair market, the variation among curly and textured hair brands, while sometimes overwhelming, also indicates a much larger shift.
It’s never “just hair” when people tell you to make it look “presentable” or “professional.” I’m not saying you should never change your hair, but if you do, do it for yourself, not because someone else thinks you should.
Even so, it can be tiring to feel like people are always judging your hair, whether it’s strangers, coworkers, or family. Hair isn’t just about style or trends; it’s connected to identity, self-worth, and cultural pride. Every small act of acceptance, like wearing your natural hair to an interview or posting about it online, helps break down old standards and makes all hair types more accepted.
When you choose to embrace your natural hair, you’re choosing not to shrink yourself to fit what others expect. Sometimes this leads to tough conversations or questioning long-perpetuated norms, but it also means you get to show up as your true self. It might be messy — with trial, error, and a few hair disasters — but it’s also liberating. And at each step, you’re not just changing how you see yourself, but how others see you, too.
As I finish this column for the semester, I hope you remember that embracing your natural hair is a strong act of self-love and resistance. The path to acceptance isn’t always easy, but it’s truly worth it.
Whether your hair is curly, coily, straight, or in protective styles, what matters most is that you feel good about yourself and make choices on your own terms.
Here’s to celebrating our curls and who we are!
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