“Are you a transfer?” This is a question I’ve come to dread.
The question itself is not bad, ill-intentioned, or inappropriate. The answer, however, is a little complicated. How do I explain to someone that, yes, I transferred here in the spring of my sophomore year, but I also went to BU as a freshman last fall?
Some backstory: BU was always my dream school. I was drawn to the city, the campus, the classes, the people, and the opportunities. Coming here was my ultimate goal, and I worked extremely hard throughout high school and the college application process to make it happen. When I received my acceptance on March 25, 2023, it was one of the most exciting days of my life, and there was not a doubt in my mind that I’d attend.
But as move-in day loomed closer and closer, the doubts began to creep in. I’ve always been mildly type-A, but in high school, I went through phases of being extra regimented and set in my ways. I liked my routine, I liked my circle of people, I liked my track team… and I didn’t see a reason to change any of it.
Convinced I didn’t need to change, I held back a lot during my freshman fall and allowed myself to be consumed by homesickness. I liked my classes, met nice and interesting people, and even got to see extended family local to Boston. However, I did not focus on any of this. I only ever thought about what I was missing. (It’s also worth mentioning that I was sick all the time and got a stress fracture in my foot in mid-October. My mental and physical health were not in a great place.)
One of the things I missed about high school was being on a track team. I was (and still am) passionate about the sport and felt I had more to give. I daydreamed about life as a “division one athlete” and soon reached out to the coaches at American University. They were receptive! I was offered the opportunity to walk on to the team beginning in spring 2024. This was the answer I had been looking for: 20 minutes from home and family, plus a structured routine with team practices, workouts, lifts, and more. I packed up at the end of the fall semester at BU and drove home to DC, thinking I would never return…
The spring semester went smoother. I didn’t love college, but I tolerated it. I was still reserved (and spent many weekends at home), but the smaller campus and team helped me be somewhat more social. I recovered from my injury and even got a few opportunities to race. I was a proud student-athlete and left for the summer determined to train hard and return in the fall for cross country.
But something strange happened over the summer. After a few weeks of being home, I began to reflect. I started thinking about what my goals had been when I was applying to college, and, for the first time, I let myself think about the opportunities I’d left behind at BU. It felt like waking up from a dream that had been the last year of my life. “How did I get here?” I often wondered. “Why didn’t I try?”
While there were so many great things about AU and my time there, I couldn’t help but feel stuck in the same life and routine I’d had since high school.
Adding to my discontent, I experienced burnout in running for the first time. Suddenly, what had once been the highlight of my day became something I dreaded. I snoozed my alarm for hours each morning, and my legs felt like bricks. I could barely make it a mile without stopping (when I used to make it 10+), then beat myself up about it later. Suddenly, the idea of flexibility and writing my own training program didn’t seem so horrible.
I was (finally) ready for a change.
But was it too late?
I fired off a few emails to contacts at BU just to see what my options were. It was too late to apply for fall admission, and because I’d enrolled elsewhere, I could not automatically be reinstated. Applying as a spring transfer student was my last option.
I toyed with the idea of taking a gap semester to travel, work, or volunteer, but ultimately, I returned to American University in the fall. I reasoned it would be good to stay “on track” with classes and hoped I would find my spark with running once I had people to run with and cross country (my favorite season) began.
Well, I returned to campus for preseason and got injured (sacral stress reaction) on day one—like, the literal first practice. It would be comical if I hadn’t been in so much pain.
Gone were my hopes of cross-country, and I spent much of the semester alone on a stationary bike. I knew this was another sign that I needed change, so I began to fill out my spring transfer application.
Despite my injury and knowing I wanted to transfer, the fall 2024 semester was my best semester of college up until that point. I leaned into my independence. I cooked for myself a lot of the time and found work and volunteer opportunities off-campus. Due to the burnout, I didn’t find myself mourning the loss of running as I had with previous injuries, and I taught myself how to have a good workout on the bike or in the pool. I visited friends on other campuses and welcomed some visitors myself. I spent less time at home, finally settled on a major, and spent my spare moments planning my future. While it wasn’t my place, I have a lot of positive things to say about American University—the school and the people. They welcomed me when I was struggling, and it was there that I slowly started to find myself again.
On November 14, 2024, I was accepted into Boston University.
I felt a weight lifted that I had not realized I was carrying. Things were falling into place, and not only was I thrilled, but I was ready.
For the first time since starting college, I was excited to move in this semester. I’ve made a conscious effort to lean in, to join things, and to push my comfort zone. It’s not always easy, but so far? It’s working. I feel happier, more confident, and more excited than I have in years. Running brings me joy again, and, most importantly, I no longer doubt that I am where I’m supposed to be.
I can’t wait to see what the next two and a half years at BU have in store for me.
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