Be Where You Are

Life is often documented in notable moments— first times, best times, worst times, chess times. Maybe not so many chess times. Anyway, this concept is logical; it is these big moments that shape us into who we are. 

It is not the sitting on your bed wondering what to do moments, and surely not the eating snacks while watching people walk past you moments. Top secret are the throwing away papers of varying importance moments, or the looking around for that one sock moments. And don’t even mention the strictly confidential pimple inventory in the dimly-lit bathroom moments.

Source: Mayacama.com

I have noticed that the unspoken moments seem to greatly outnumber the spoken ones. That’s why there are only 20 pictures on your Instagram profile. And people who have hundreds of wonderful-looking moments are maybe fabricating the genuinity of those moments. 

Because there has emerged a system of measurement for the richness of one’s life, based on how many exceptional moments they have captured— the operative word being captured. If it’s not on my Instagram page, how will people know that I giggled at the fall of my first live snowflake or took my two friends out to a really sweet dinner? If I had a wonderful moment, why would I keep it to myself?

Source: Sunset.com​

I understand this feeling; we want to share our joy with others! Though that may feel like our motivator, I think it is more the feeling of people will think I don’t have fun. Absence of notable moments captured is a red flag. People might think I sometimes just sit for a long time or don’t have tons of friends. But, for me at least, that is actually the truth. I’m posting every little view that could be liked because I’m trying so hard to convince people that my life is mostly really cool. Cool by social media standards, that is. 

The girl from the Bachelorette shows ‘cool’ with a beachside picnic and $200 bikini, so if I can get a picture of the sunset at the perfect moment with a bunch of friends underneath it, maybe I have reached 40% cool. God forbid I DON’T capture it, though, because then this perfectly orchestrated moment would have been for nothing. 

I wish this moment could have been wonderful even if nobody but me knew about it, and that people wouldn’t be checking to see if I am having fun. To their standards, maybe I’m not having fun. But to me, eating some ice cream and watching the sky change is a pretty lovely moment. And I don’t want to have to prove that to anyone.

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