I feel like every phase of adulthood consists of very specific elements that people handle differently depending on who they are. And I would argue further that this young adult phase (18-mid-20 somethings) is the most hectic. Career, location, money, friendships, romantic relationships, all relationships, sense of self… The list is endless. It’s like once we pack up the trauma of high school and leave our adolescence, the flood gates of issues busts open.
The worst part of this is that, unlike the prime time of our teens, there is no real timeline or pattern to follow in hopes that we just make it. Take the whole career thing for example. Who the hell am I supposed to ask advice from? Even if you have friends that share your same passion for a certain major, people rarely have the same exact path (unless you’re a pre-professional baddie, of course).
As an English major, I’ve deemed it unnecessarily stressful to ask my fellow book nerds what their plans are because it always leads to me doubting the various futures I’ve imagined for myself. And I know that there are advisors for this specific subject, but that’s almost equally stressful because they’ve seen people succeed and fail in every possible way. I feel the pressure to perform and to be the best just from the rise of their brows whenever I mention even the most realistic aspirations.
Then there are the other issues which just cause a constant storm of questions to interrupt my thoughts at the most inconvenient of times. I’ll be writing a paper when my subconscious wants to know how much money I have in my bank account… or where I belong after undergrad… or why am I still this person’s friend… or why things didn’t work out with that person… or if I’m being a good daughter… or a good sister… or friend… or just a good version of myself… or just my true self…
When I’m in the middle of this tornado of questions that I’ve created, it feels like I have nothing under control. I mean, the societal perspective of questions is that if you don’t know it, you’re in trouble. But whenever I take a step back, write about it, and talk it all out with my mom, I realize that I got this. Though young adulthood is the most hectic phase of my grown-up life, it’s also the only time I have left to mess up.
I should be kind of glad that I’m never completely satisfied with how things are going because it means I’m taking risks and using all the lessons in the life I’m living to construct my most fulfilled self. Having no real clue of what I’m doing and what life path I’m following doesn’t mean I suck at adulting. It just means I’m enjoying the things/people/places/passions I know that I love and appreciate.
So am I adulting right? An unimportant question. Am I being the young adult I should be? I think that I am.
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