A common topic of debate when it comes to relationships is “right person, wrong time.” By this principle, you have met your person, but the situation wasn’t supportive of a deeper connection. For whatever reason, you weren’t at the same place at the same time.
Maybe you were still figuring out who you were, or maybe life pulled you both in opposite directions before you could truly meet in the middle. It is natural to think “right person, wrong time” when you both still care for each other deeply, even in your absences.
When relationships end on good terms, it can be confusing and painful because your love for them doesn’t just disappear. It persists, but has no obvious outlet. You find yourself replaying memories and searching for deeper meaning in small details. You can’t help but wonder if the universe made a mistake. Your feelings feel confined by your new realities, so you may create new fictions that align with them.
If it were the wrong time, there must be a right time because they are your person… right? The danger of the label “right person, wrong time” is that it fosters a sense of hope that tends to be exhausting; it is a justification for your persisting emotional connection even when, physically, you couldn’t be farther apart.
Are they really your “right person” if you haven’t spoken in months or years? Can nobody else be your “right person”? It is a limiting belief, as you are holding onto an old experience that no longer serves you. It prevents you from living in the present moment and taking advantage of new opportunities.
I would like to note that getting back together with an ex can be worth it, but living each day with the expectation and the desire isn’t. Hope can be beautiful, but it should never manifest into a prison. Letting go by accepting the lessons of the experience and truly learning from them allows you to grow as an individual. Closure can come from recognizing that you deserve the love you gave, and that you can give it again — to yourself and to someone new.
I believe if they are your right person, there is never a wrong time. Your person will choose you for who you are today, not for who you might become or who they want you to be. They will love you for everything that makes you, you: your passions, your quirks, and your imperfections.
I once heard: “Your right person would actually want to date you.” This was a slap in the face for high-school me. If they are your right person, there would be nothing in the way of building a deep and lasting relationship. Of course, no relationship is perfect, but with the right person, it grows and becomes stronger. It’s not about waiting for the right time; it’s about choosing each other, even when life isn’t easy or convenient.
Let go of timing and hold on to truth.
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