I’m in no place to be dishing out relationship advice — so don’t expect to learn How to Get a Guy in 10 Days (if you know how, do share). Instead, I’ll be explaining the value of sitting in your solitude, something I’ve learned while also finding quality friends in college.
Disclaimer: While my love interest has he/him pronouns, I hope my advice can be applied to any gender. Here is my experience and take on all things romantic: college edition.
College isn’t anything like you see in the movies. Remember Hardin Scott from the After series? British smoke show with tats and mommy issues? Yeah, you’ll never meet him in college. (If you can prove me wrong, I’ll buy you a cookie.) His overt confidence is exceedingly rare for a college-aged kid. In reality, it’s rare to be approached in person. If you’re someone who struggles to connect with your love interests, you’re not alone. Piece of advice #1: Subvert your expectations. You may not be thirsted over by dozens. You probably won’t meet the love of your life in the on-campus coffee shop. This doesn’t mean you aren’t pretty or interesting — the person you’re into may not be comfortable with being upfront with their feelings.
Choosing to participate in hookup culture is your prerogative, and the same goes for if you decide to opt-out. Either way, don’t rush into anything that you feel uncomfortable with! There’s enough to worry about during your freshman year, so focus on yourself.
One thing college will teach you, if you haven’t learned it already, is to get comfortable doing things solo. You’ll get used to eating by yourself, walking alone to class, and spending nights with just you. You will learn a lot about yourself, knowledge that will make you a better partner in the future. What better time to focus on yourself than now?
I have also realized that doing things on your own is very common. In college, everyone has different class schedules which requires you to schedule things on your own time. A large part of your day will most likely be dedicated to studying, so don’t hesitate to turn down seeing a friend if you’re behind on work. It’s okay to take time for yourself, whether that’s studying or relaxing.
Be kind to yourself. It’s easy to beat yourself up over failed relationships, situations, and encounters. Don’t soak in shame or guilt. Take them for what they are and grow from them.
Want to keep up with HCBU? Make sure to like us on Facebook, follow us on Instagram, check out our Pinterest board, watch us on TikTok, and read our latest Tweets!