Loneliness at Uni: How to Combat it

University life is often depicted as the foundational years of adulthood with rowdiness and enjoyment, and it is in a sense, but starting out at university can be harder than we anticipate. When I was a freshman in university, the hardest part for me was the loneliness and being away from family for the first time ever. Figuring how to deal with loneliness and the unknown was one of the hardest parts of university life. 

When I was first dealing with loneliness, it looked a lot like locking myself away from the world because seeing everyone else talking and having fun with each other made me jealous. I thought that this transition would be easier, but it wasn’t until I learned what to do with loneliness. 

What I found extremely helpful when combatting loneliness was using the opportunities of societies, clubs, and organizations. This helped me to find people who had similar interests to me, and it was much less intimidating to have somewhere to go instead of trying to make friends with people out and about. However, this was also difficult because I was never very good at engaging in small talk and conversation. My solution to this was to start a conversation based on what I saw whether it was a book they were reading or a cute top they were wearing. The conversation flowed easily for me after I started that simple connection. 

This next lesson that I learned is going to sound cliche and redundant, but putting myself out there and saying yes to more things helped me to make friends and feel less alone in the university space. When others reached out to me, I decided to just say yes because then I at least tried, and I usually had an escape route planned if I needed to leave for the sake of my wellbeing. I know it is much easier said than done, but say yes to opportunities that are thrown your way, but it’s also okay to say no if you don’t feel comfortable with something. 

Don’t get me wrong, making friends at university is impactful to fight against loneliness, but it’s also important to remember your support system at home. A simple phone call or FaceTime is more powerful in growing the relationships you already have. If you are like me with being family oriented, then reaching out to them made me feel less alone because I knew no matter how far I went, I had them supporting me. 

While making friends and building connections that you’ve already established significantly combats loneliness, I learned that I also needed to embrace the time with myself. Throughout university experience, you are surrounded by masses of people and sometimes just taking a break to recharge and be with yourself can make a difference in what loneliness feels like. I used my time alone to do something that I was passionate about. I found new interests and hobbies that I didn’t expect, and I found that engaging in this form of activity made me feel less alone because I was preoccupied with my enjoyment of that activity. 

• loneliness
• mental health
• unilife