I’ve been banned by the NHS. From giving blood, but it sounds more impressive if I say I’ve been barred from donating. I’m a perfectly healthy, averagely sized nineteen year old girl, no tattoos, no recent piercings, and I’ve not being hanging out in any at risk Malaria areas in the past six months. But they don’t want me coming back for a while.
Of course, they’re only looking out for me. In what was perhaps one of the more embarrassing moments of my life I ended up on the floor of an events room at the zoo of all places, unconscious and no doubt pulling an unattractive face. (My caring boyfriend took a picture during the commotion and it wasn’t one for the insta let’s just say that.)
First of all, this story is not about why you shouldn’t give blood. I think it’s one of the easiest ways in which you can help someone – what’s so difficult about sitting in a chair for ten minutes while nurses fuss around you, and then being made to eat a couple of free biscuits? Needles, I hear you cry. Big pointy needles that steal just under a pint of your precious life supply. As an avid avoider of needles, I can tell you that it’s really not that bad. Just look away for a second, and before you know it it’s in, and you barely feel a thing. And then in fifteen minutes you’re walking out the door, free crisps in hand and a sticker on your chest so you can let everyone know the wonderful thing you’ve just done.
I even managed to donated the full 470ml – contrary to my boyfriend, who had to stop as he could feel himself starting to pass out, but once the nurses had swung his legs above his head he was perfectly fine. However, it was when the needle was out, and I was safely deposited at the snack table that my hearing went, vision started to cloud and my unconscious body is being lifted off the chair and onto the floor by two male nurses (both of whom said I had a lovely vein for injections so I’m clearly in there ;) ). And then in five minutes the feelings of faintness are completely gone and I’m just left feeling like an idiot.
My boyfriend and I are a rare pair. Only 1% of donors get any side effects from donating, nevermind actually face plant it. As long as you’ve eaten, had a good night’s sleep and drunk plenty of water beforehand then you will be absolutely fine. It’s easy, the nurses are the most wonderful people I’ve ever met, and it means you can excuse eating as much chocolate as you want to get your sugar up.
So there I am, five concerned nurses staring down at me, mildly regretting not eating anything but a cheese toastie all day. It was embarrassing. But I’ll be back, as soon as they’ve lifted the restraining order on my veins going anywhere near a needle. After all, I got a free bourbon out of it.
If any of you would like to give blood, visit the NHS Blood Donation website.