About a week or so ago, my mom visited me here at Brenau. While she was here, we had a dinner conversation about sexuality and gender and brought up how she raised me and my sister.
āWhen you two were little, I never really put too much of an emphasis on you two to be āgirlyā or act like ālittle girlsā. You played with a mix of boy and girl toys, and your activities were pretty gender neutral too,” she said.
It was that observation that had me thinking about my sister andĀ IĀ and about the assumptions people make about gender identity and sexual orientation. Here we were, two kids assigned female at birth; we were raised the exact same way, fed the same meals, sent to the same schools, and loved equally as much by all of our family members.
And yet, we are so different. My sister is a cisgender woman, and Iām agender.
But this is who I am. I canāt change how I identify anymore than I can change the color of my eyes or who Iām sexually attracted to. While there are people who donāt understand, there are many who love me just the same.
Surprisingly enough, being at a womenās college actually helped me confirm my gender identity. At home, Iām not entirely out to my family, so coming to college was my chance to be more open about it. Even in my sorority life, I still feel comfortable expressing my gender identity without hesitation.Ā Iāve also gotten a lot of support from my circle of friends, and they continue to support me.
The dating game is also very slim at Brenau. Itās a bit difficult explaining to each and every person you want to date that youāre actually really uncomfortable with conpliments like “You’re pretty,” Ā andĀ commenting on your ānice boobs.” I had one Tinder match say I was being unreasonable for not wanting to be called pretty. My longest relationship has been with my sorority and my ukulele.Ā I donāt really mind it though, Iām not the biggest fan of relationships anyway.
Right now, any and all transition that I would like to do will happen after I graduate. Since Iām considering Hormone Replacement Therapy, it might make staying at Brenau and staying in my sorority complicated, so I plan to wait. Slowly but surely, however, Iām starting to tell people to call me by āthey/themā pronouns, and the more people I tell, the more support I find.
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