Since the beginning of high school, I’ve been at battle with my hair, fighting for control over it’s curly/wavy thickness and persistent frizz. I’ve spent six years frying my hair with straighteners four days a week, and during the past few years, I’ve spent months on high school/ college swim teams, consistently damaging my hair with chlorine. It became even more frizzy and uncontrollable after swimming. My hair would become immensely dry and brittle, developing split ends that traveled all the way up to my ears ( my hair goes down about three inches past my shoulders). These split ends made me nervous about the way my hair looked, so I decided to straighten my hair in hopes of hiding them. However, at that point, straightening couldn’t hide that my hair was unhealthy, it was uneven, breaking, and notorious for sticking up in strange directions. For about two years, I’ve even had a large strand, which my sister affectionately calls the “unicorn horn,” that sticks up straight on the top of my head due to breakage from straightening. Like many sections of my hair, this piece can no longer be fully tamed by a straightener because it is now too short and wavy at the roots to be controlled.
Over break, I finally made the decision to leave my hair curly, and I’m going to be honest, I hated it at first. I hated going out in public with my frizzy curls. I hated that my extended family was seeing me with my hair curly for the first time in years. I felt uncomfortable and stressed about how I was perceived with curly hair. I’ve always had a young face, so I was nervous my curls would make me look younger. I was also concerned that they would make me look messy or lazy. I also didn’t like how my curls tend to take a really long time to dry, about 6 hours to be fully dry, because I’ve always been frustrated with the way my hair looks wet, feeling like I look bald or heavier set. During the early days of challenging myself to wear my hair curly, I would wake up and debate whether I should keep my hair curly based on my responsibilities for the day. I found that I was so nervous to leave for work with my hair curly for the first time due to my deeply rooted fear that I would look less conventionally “pretty” with my curls and therefore look unprofessional. When my friends from home wanted to take pictures while ice skating, I was hyper-aware of how my hair looked, constantly, probably annoyingly, asking whether they thought it looked “okay.”
Despite my anxiety regarding my curls, I’ve now kept my hair curly for a full month. Logically, I know that many of my fears about wearing my hair curly seem absurd. I can remind myself that others most of the time really aren’t paying attention to me, and I can find comfort in that fact. However, teaching myself to not be ashamed of my hair and to truly be confident with my curls have been a tremendously difficult challenge for me and, I expect that this journey to love my hair will continue through college as I learn to better appreciate who I really am. During my time wearing my hair curly, I’ve researched how to take care of my hair in an appropriate manner. I found out my curl type on the website naturallycurly.com. They had a very helpful quiz, and I tried some new products that their website suggested. The naturally curly website provided a helpful guide for reviving damaged curls, suggesting products that fit my hair type best (2c-3a). They also promoted the curly girl method which requires using conditioner twice (once to clean and once to scrunch through) and then only using shampoo about once a week. Initially, I tried Jessicurl shampoo/ conditioner with shea, a product the site suggested. Although I got 12 ounces of the shampoo and conditioner, the conditioner ran out very quickly during my first two weeks using the curly girl method. I chose to try a new conditioner when I ran out. I selected the restorative conditioner and the moisture retention shampoo. In the past, I had tried the shea moisture curl and shine conditioner (the pink bottle). This product ended up making my hair feel very weighed down, so I was initially concerned that the new products (the brown/yellow bottle) would have the same impact. However, the line ended up making my hair feel very fresh and light, and I absolutely loved its amazing smell.
Although I remain nervous about wearing my hair curly at times, I’m steadily becoming more confident with my hair and have really enjoyed learning more about curly hair care. I hope that I’ll continue with my curly hair challenge in the upcoming months and with time develop healthier and bouncier curls.
Trying to embrace my curls!