This week, I am writing on a topic that has strongly affected me and somewhat turned my life upside down this semester. An unexpected encounter, reverse culture shock has hit me hard since returning to the United States after my semester abroad. I made my re-entrance with the expectation that everything would be exactly as I had left it, but the truth is, this was not the case at all.Â
I decided to go abroad for a plethora of reasons: to learn more about myself, to experience a different culture, and to travel around Europe. Throughout my time abroad, I undoubtedly experienced my fair share of culture shock, “countrysickness”, and feelings of wondering whether I made the right choice to spend a semester overseas. I had left my entire life behind; my school and its education system, my previous way of life, and everyone I knew to go to an unfamiliar place where the “hustle and bustle” lifestyle I was so accustomed to was rather sporadic. You don’t truly get to know your most raw, authentic self until you are completely stripped of everything you ever knew and put into survival mode to start from scratch. It’s actually quite humbling.Â
From going abroad, it was revealed to me who I was without all the titles, involvements, and accessories, and I learned to value what is truly important. I learned to be present in the moment, to prioritize my relationships, to not take things so seriously, and to take control of my own happiness. I also discovered my deep love for traveling, which led to further reflection of how I can consistently integrate this into my life back home.Â
Though I grew significantly on a personal level throughout my international experience, my world back home also changed while I was away. I enjoyed my time abroad and made memories to last a lifetime, but I still long anticipated my return, especially around the holidays and my 21st birthday. Upon returning, I expected everything to just go back to normal. And for a few weeks, it seemed like it did. I mean, I was only gone for a few months. How much could things have really changed? However, as time went on, I quickly realized this was not the case. Returning to my home university in the middle of the academic year left me feeling somewhat out of place and dissociated, like I didn’t quite fit anymore. It was evident that a few individuals I considered my friends had pretty much moved on, and that I had made a relational sacrifice by studying abroad.Â
In hindsight, it is interesting to consider how much I missed my home country while abroad. I had an amazing time traveling and meeting new people from all over the world, but I still thought about home every day. On the flip side, now that I have been back in the U.S. for four months, I can say that I think about my time in the UK each day, and I sometimes wonder what my life would look like if I was still over there. While there were so many things I missed dearly about the U.S., such as being busy and having a routine/structure, working, being close to the people I cared about, and eating good food, there is also an abundance of things that I miss from Essex. For example, I miss traveling to a new destination almost every weekend, staying up all night in airports, trying out new hostels, catching flights, riding the trains, and making core memories with my friends. I also miss the overall slower pace of life and the greater work-life balance. Here in the U.S., it is easy to fall into the mentality that you must always be on the go or doing something productive, and that is what I was used to. It was also foreign to me how much people prioritized cooking over there, but this is another aspect I would like to get better at and implement moving forward. Students would take a couple hours a night to cook and enjoy a meal with friends, whereas I never felt like I had the time to thoroughly prepare and sit down for a meal, because of my crazy busy schedule.Â
Ever since coming back to the U.S., Ohio, and BGSU, things haven’t completely felt the same, which is both an advantage and a disadvantage. I believe that if you return from extended time overseas feeling unchanged, you must not have sufficiently reflected or tried to appreciate things from a different perspective, as studying abroad is ideally supposed to expand your worldview and how you perceive the role of yourself and others as global citizens. However, the comeback has been harder than anticipated. I wasn’t exactly sure how life would look for me with studying and traveling abroad under my belt, but it was difficult to reintegrate to my home university because nobody could relate to what I went through and the ways I had grown. If I didn’t have the pictures to prove that it happened or the memories to reminisce on, I would have wondered if the entire experience was even real. While it was refreshing to come home to other people who talked and demonstrated similar mannerisms to me, I couldn’t help but be a little stung for no longer feeling like someone who stood out. I remember expressing this to one of my friends from England who told me that I was still different from everyone else because of the new international experiences that I brought back with me. I am still distinguished because of the places I have been, the people I have met, the new emotions I have felt, the role I played in representing my country, and the giant leap I chose to take by going abroad in the first place. Because once your heart expands, you can never shrink it back.Â