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Marriage & Children: Are They Still the Dream?

The opinions expressed in this article are the writer’s own and do not reflect the views of Her Campus.
This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Bowie State chapter.

Have you ever wondered what life would be like if you chose not to get married or have children? Why is it that women are conditioned to desire marriage and children as a part of their dreams but not men?

There is the pressure that it is an obligation as a woman to pursue marriage and children and then there are the double standards against women that make it hard to think of life without them while being condemned. 

There are some cultures where women are defined by their ability to secure a man to marry, to keep him and to bear children. It is as far as to go and say that a woman has not reached success until she has accomplished this lifestyle. What would be wrong about the world if we just let women do what they want? Let’s talk about how not every woman wants children nor do some feel as though they have the capacity to take on motherhood. 

The truth of the matter is women want to keep their youth whether with marriage and children or without. The double standards that men can live a life without women and be happy or in promiscuity but women can’t due to the fact that we are emotional creatures or are persecuted more for being promiscuous is wrong

Love makes the world go round and everybody needs love, not just women. Finding the right significant other is not easy and there is the fear of losing love for one another. One could lose their individuality in it all. There exists the fear of failure and adversity. The pain of not being able to reproduce is hard to bear.

Life deals the unexpected sometimes in the sense of pregnancy, childbirth, miscarriages and medical abortions just to name a few. The expectations of women are excessive. We are to bear all the victories and challenges, emphasis on challenges we experience as women and still keep pushing like nothing is happening. Overall, women have to sacrifice a lot and take on more responsibility than men. 

Let’s be honest as well about how a lot of marriages in the Millennial and Gen Z are ending in divorce at a higher rate than past generations. A statistic from Cosmopolitan states “40 is the average age of women going through their first divorce.” As well as the fact that women are delaying the marriage and children route.

Some of the major factors behind the long-term decline in the marriage rate have been female education and labor force participation, women’s economic independence and gender equality.” For goodness sake this is 2022 and the bar is low, chivalry is dead, there are a small percentage of gentlemen left. If a woman is free in her own space and worry-free let her be, not everyone wants to deal with having to please anyone and that’s in regards to both marriage and children.

Women deserve to have their freedom in all aspects, especially their dreams and decisions. Women should be able to have full professional careers in the same right as men without worrying about a biological clock. Women should be able to live a carefree, free spirited life and thrive without judgment. If we as women choose to get married and have children it should be at our will not by force. The future is female so please world, let’s stop trying to dictate the woman’s dream.

Kimberly Symba

Bowie State '24

Kimberly is a Fashion Design major and Business Administration minor. She is creative by nature and loves to write for pleasure. She aspires to be editor-in-chief of her own fashion/arts magazine.