This semester feels heavier than the ones before it. For the first time, I am leading an organization, and to be honest, there are days I feel like I have no idea what I am doing. Add in two other leadership roles and my classes, and it feels like I am spinning in circles trying to keep everything from falling apart. At first, the pressure was suffocating. I would look around at other people who seemed so sure of themselves, and I would wonder why I felt like I was just pretending. The truth is, leadership is not a manual you get handed on day one it is messy, confusing, and sometimes lonely. But slowly, I have been finding small ways to quiet the anxiety that comes with being stretched so thin.
I have started permitting myself to be a beginner. I am learning that being in charge does not mean I need to know everything right away. I can ask questions. I can make mistakes. I can figure things out step by step. Releasing the pressure to be perfect has been one of the most freeing parts of this semester so far.
Writing things down has also been saving me. My mind feels like a cluttered closet most days, full of meetings, assignments, and deadlines. Putting it all on paper makes it less intimidating. I keep a planner where I separate my schoolwork, organization responsibilities, and personal reminders. When I see it in front of me, it feels more manageable than when it is just swirling around in my thoughts.
I have also been practicing taking breaks without guilt. Sometimes that means closing my laptop and stepping outside for air. Other times, it is scrolling TikTok or calling a friend just to laugh about nothing important. I used to feel bad for not being productive every second, but I am starting to realize that rest is part of productivity too.
Another shift for me has been letting people in. I used to think being a leader meant I had to carry everything on my own, but it turns out leadership also means knowing when to lean on others. Talking to friends about my stress or asking for help with small things has reminded me that I do not need to hold it all by myself.
And finally, I am trying to celebrate the small wins. I might not get through everything on my to-do list, but if I check off one assignment, organize one meeting, or even just show up for myself that day, I remind myself that progress is progress.
The truth is, I am still figuring it out. I do not have all the answers, and some days I still feel like I am fumbling my way through. But I am learning that anxiety does not mean I am failing—it just means I care deeply about what I am doing. If you are starting this semester with your own mix of nerves and responsibilities, know that you are not alone. None of us have it perfectly together, even when it looks that way on the outside. We are all just doing our best, and for right now, that is more than enough.